When you invite guests over, you expect them to act like civilized, grateful, normal human beings who clean up after themselves or use actual toilet paper (and not your TOWELS). You know—basic levels of grace, thoughtfulness, and kindness. It’s really that simple. But sometimes, you have a guest over that blows your damned mind. They barge in and act like they own the place, making it their own. Sometimes they invite their own guests over (!!!) and other times they drink all your stuff, eat all your food, or leave the place in shambles.
In a heated AskReddit thread, people shared some of their worst guest stories — not only so the rest of us could balk at the audacity, but so future horrible guests will be warned. So, if you’re one of these people, you better correct your behavior. There is no place for animals in our homes.
Here are their unfortunate, traumatizing stories.
Invite their own guest to stay with us for 5 days (none of them were invited to stay over.) Relatives. — DidSomeoneSayBlood
Drank all of my favorite tea, and used 2 bags in each cup. It’s the only tea out of the 80 varieties in the cabinet I said to not use much of. It was difficult to get because only one store carried it and it was a big trip to go get. Then right after she drank it all, I went to replace it and the store no longer carried it. My partner recently found it online and bought me a box though. —GloInTheDarkUnicorn
My best friend wouldn’t f—king leave. When I asked her what her going home plans were after six days, she said “I don’t plan my life that way.” We are 30. —aj4ever
Left his trash everywhere and then started to complain because of that trash laying around. — KingBrandt
I invited a former college classmate to come and stay at my house when I found out he was homeless. I knew he had issues with drinking but was not aware that he had come to include other addictions. It was late in the evening when I picked him up and brought him home. I showed him is room, the bathroom, told him to help himself to anything in the fridge. Less than 2 hours later I woke up to the smoke alarm going off. I guess he had decided to smoke some Benadryl that was in the medicine cabinet. I’m not really sure what went on, but he scorched my coffee table and a small patch of laminate flooring plus he burned/melted a spot in my area rug big enough that I had to replace it.
He also broke my favorite glass and for some reason that still baffles me, smashed the remote for my TV into several pieces. Needless to say, I had to show him the door. The next day I told him he needed to go to the addictions clinic at the hospital and tell them he needed help because he was a danger to himself and others. —Moos_Mumsy
Let their little kid wipe his ass with my guest towels. Instead of, you know, asking where the toilet paper is.—OldTimerNubbins
A kid whose parents didn’t supervise him. He was probably 8 or 9 at the time and would get into ANYTHING – especially stuff computer related. He would dig through drawers and open boxes looking for gadgets to play with. Only to fuck them up or lose something. We finally told the parents they couldn’t bring him back when he got into the kitchen and turned on the glass top stove while a pizza box was on it. Started a small, quickly extinguished fire and the house smelled like smoke for about a week. —Actually_Im_a_Broom
Took explosive sh—ts that left shit spattered all over the toilet every single day for the month that he was residing in our house. Didn’t think to clean it up. —skeletongeorge
My aunt took a sh—t in the bathroom (a given, considering we were having a bbq) but instead of throwing the used tissue in the toilet or even the bin, she put it inside the bathtub. i told my mom, who put her on blast in front of the whole fam. she doesn’t come to the cookouts anymore. —falselymiranda
Last weekend I spent all day cooking for all my friends. I slow-cooked chicken all day, made fresh salsa and guac, etc. We all got drunk and ate. I putt everything away so I could save it for meals later. I’m poor so it was supposed to feed me for a bit. Well after I went to bed, this f—king c—nt took the food out to make tacos and didn’t put it away. So I had to throw away all the food I spent all day cooking I’m still pissed and getting mad just writing this. —Koolaid67
At my son’s first birthday party, my stepmoms mother (who wasn’t even invited) made the comment, “Your wife says she isn’t materialistic, but you sure have a lot of stuff.” We were living in a small two-bedroom apartment and my son’s room (which had toys and other presents) was also my office and the only storage we had. —ShieldOfZeus85
My dad collects fossils and found the lower half of a human jaw. He called the police when he found it but they told him it was quite old and couldn’t do anything with it. In the end, he was allowed to keep it and the jaw bone is on display in his poker room. My mother’s cousin stayed with them for a visit, picked it up by each end and pressed them inward exclaiming “oh is this real?” The piece snapped in half. Dad quietly removed the bits from my cousin’s hands and left the room. He put it together with some scotch tape. —DarlingPotPrincess
Stole my jacket. My roommate’s friend took it because he didn’t bring one and it was cold when he left. Then when i tried to get it back he denied taking it and threw it in the trash. He is and always will be a useless sack of rotten, pickled d—cks. —MarkF6
One of my mother’s friends is not only a raging alcoholic but is also on a ridiculous amount of prescription drugs. One night she was staying with my parents and fell asleep in a leather recliner because of the aforementioned alcohol and drugs.
At some point in the middle of the night, she sh—t herself, again because of the aforementioned alcohol and drugs, and instead of being a good guest and decent human being and being embarrassed by it and doing her damndest to clean it up, she threw the blanket she was sleeping under over her mess and then went upstairs to sleep in one of the beds. Then she just told my mother about it in the morning and then left. —ArchaeoRunner
My late partner was very sick with leukemia. After over a year of being his 24/7 caregiver I got the opportunity to go abroad for a work trip. My partner insisted I go because I deserved a break from caregiving and that his deadbeat brother would fill in as caregiver while I was gone.
While his brother was staying with in our home, he brought his cat which is a no no for someone who living with zero immune system, did the ABSOLUTE minimum to take care of my partner and left him basically to figure out Meds/food on his own. And the final blow was he stole the big piggy bank that we were using to save for his bucket list vacation before he died. Then denied he did it. —saudadedabahia
When my cousin was my roommate her trashy sad red neck boyfriend would come over and use all of my pots and pans and then leave them for me to clean up after him. One night I got so pissed I dumped the entire sink full of their mess onto her bed and covered it with a blanket. Never again. —Potatonater9000
I’ve made this post before so I’ll just copy paste it here: Not my house but my car. I don’t have many rules for passengers when I’m driving but there are two I will never budge on.
1: Wear your seat belt.
2: Do not smoke in my car.
I had just bought a car, it wasn’t brand new but I knew the previous (and only) owner and I knew he was a car guy who took meticulous care of his cars inside and out. He wouldn’t even sell me the car before he had given the engine a proper service. Within a week of getting the car a friend asked for a lift to the train station, I knew he smoked so as we walked to the car I told him specifically to wait until we get to the station before he lights up (a 10 minute ride at most).
I back out of the parking spot, drive to the exit of the parking lot and as I check my left hand side for oncoming cars I hear from my right the distinctive sound of a lighter sparking up. Dude could not even f—king wait until we were out of the f—king car park before he just had to have his goddamn cigarette. I ask him what the hell he thinks he’s doing and he just looks at me and says “Relax, it’s not like it’s a new car.” F—ker ended up walking to the train station.
This was technically in a dorm room, not a real home, but I had the audacity to wake up my roommate’s boyfriend by walking into my room, where he was asleep at 3 in the afternoon, and he immediately launched into a political argument with me—threebakedpotatoes
I am 28 years old at the time of this story. A friend of mine who does the light-bullying thing as his main personality trait would regularly come over to have a break from his wife and kids (his homemaker-wife does the bare minimum and he essentially both makes the income and keeps up with every chore, his need to get away is legitimate). I give him a lot of freedom, such as being able to change the thermostat and eating whatever food he wants without needing permission; this kind of welcome was, I thought, met with respect in return (but I was clearly mistaken).
One day he is using the television to play music while he looks at memes on his phone, the next song comes on and he mildly doesn’t like it but my wife says out loud “Oh I love this song!”. He changes the song anyway and says “No one cares what you like.” It’s not the roughest thing he’s ever said, but in a situation like this, it’s always a joke, just a mean absurdity. It would follow that he change the song back and laugh, because clearly he didn’t mean that. It’s just the light-bullying to show affection. But he didn’t turn it back. I was in the other room preparing food for everyone and was waiting for my wife’s song to play for almost 20 seconds or so before leaning past the wall to look at him:
Me: You know what, change the song back.
Him: Nah I don’t like that song.
Me: Oh word?
Him: Yeah I’m just not in the mood for it.
Me: Oh, cool, well then. Go home.
Me: Yeah get outta here with that bullsh—t. Go home. (And he did, I haven’t spoken to him since.)
I thought it was so out of character for him, he was always trying to lecture me on how I was immature for how I handled my relationship, he has big issues with people getting too comfortable too quickly in his home, legitimately everything that happened is against everything he’s ever talked about in his home and about his family.
But the more I thought about it? I let him feel like my house was his man cave. He started taking advantage of my kindness and saw it as me giving him a second house to control. My wife is very nice and sweet, but I knew he somewhat resented her because instead of hanging out with him almost 7 days a week like before, I spent more time with her now. Even though he had access to my home to hang out 4-5 times a week, he blamed her for why I don’t go out and chill anymore (it was actually my new job’s fault, not hers).
I think he was slowly trying to manipulate me into resenting her with him, but I was unaware of that because it absolutely wasn’t working. I think he saw that night as me choosing her over our friendship, and I absolutely would choose her over him any day, but it was definitely more about being a dick to the group as if he thought he was the leader or more important member.
This was longer than I intended, my sorries.—koreiryuu
My uncle once reorganized my entire kitchen. It wouldn’t have been horrible (aggravating yes, but not horrible) EXCEPT that he moved the fire extinguisher and didn’t tell anyone. So when I accidentally started a small grease fire I couldn’t find the extinguisher.
And that’s how I burned my hands, destroyed my stove, and nearly burned my kitchen down. All because he just had to rearrange my f—king kitchen.—FreddieGregg
Decorated the Christmas tree. A bit of backstory…in my family, the Christmas tree isn’t just some pretty thing to look at. It’s a relic of family history. Every ornament was a gift from a family member or friend.
Some of them were generations old. Decorating the tree was something we all did together, and we’d put the ornaments we’d been gifted on the tree. I wanted to pass that on to my daughter. That each ornament was special and meant something…
Then, along came my late father in law’s girlfriend. She was a self-proclaimed authority on everything. From how to properly cook carrots up to how to decorate a Christmas tree. Knowing how she was, I made it clear that we were going to hang the ornaments together after we got back from some last minute shopping.
We got back, and she’d decorated the tree herself. She stood proudly in front of it, waiting for us to tell her how beautiful it was. B—tch simply didn’t listen.—gogojack