People who are anti-choice often seem to mostly care about the welfare of children up until their first breath out of the womb. Then the tap of compassion and care gets turned off. Many conservatives are both anti-choice and against welfare programs that relieve stress on families by providing food and aid, public education, and health insurance. Basically, all the things that would make it much easier for people to choose to have kids.
That may not be the case with all of them, but this post screenshot by writer Hayley Farless seems like a textbook case of this mentality. The image comes from a private Facebook group called Are You Even Pro-Life and it was posted by a woman named Jamie Jeffries. Farless shared it, captioning the post, “This is real. This is a real-life post by an anti-abortion activist. You can’t make this sh—t up.”
In the Facebook post, Jeffries writes, “I talked a mom out of abortion in February. Her baby is 6 months old now and was just removed from her family’s custody by DCS (unfortunately it was probably a justified removal). But this family put ME down as next preferred placement for this baby. Dude me?!?!? No. No no no no no no no no!”
“I do way too much for this work already, a 6-month-old will break me, destroy my marriage and physical health,” she concluded. “I just can’t!”
To be fair, most people probably couldn’t take in a six-month-old at the drop of a hat, but if you consider yourself the reason that someone went through with an unwanted pregnancy, you should be prepared for some responsibility.
How many times does it have to be said, they’re not pro-life. They are pro-birth. Pro-life would mean believing in affordable healthcare, affordable housing, food assistance, free schooling, etc.
— RC Not The Cola (@RC_None_Cola) February 3, 2020
The post from Farless went viral, and Jeffries saw it. She’s actually fairly famous online, posting as “The Pro-Life Wife.” Being pro-life is a huge part of her identity, and she was pretty pissed to see what she considered a private expression of frustration shared with the world.
She ended up DMing Farless a long Facebook post she wrote about the baby’s current situation, calling him Baby Z.
Absolutely clear that she, like the rest of the anti-choice movement, has no interest in the wellbeing of this woman or her family and would rather weaponize her own hypocrisy to hurt them pic.twitter.com/Bch6X3qF5g— Hayley Farless (@hayleyfarless) February 4, 2020
Jeffries writes that though she didn’t take in Baby Z she has remained a part of his life and begged a friend to take him.
“And knowing what this baby meant to me, and me pleading in tears for her to keep him safe because I couldn’t, she said yes,” Jeffries wrote. “I’m so eternally grateful to her and her husband and their children for that.”
Many are commenting on Jeffries’ post, saying they appreciate her perspective on the matter.
But one comment from Kat Blacklaws makes the main point.
You are clearly a well intentioned person and it’s nice to see a story from a pro-lifer who actually followed up with a baby after birth. The only thing I would ask you, after having been through all this does this not show you how much love and support is required to bring a baby into the world? In this case his mother wasn’t able to provide it, so others stepped in but surely you must acknowledge the numerous occasions when that doesn’t happen. I would also point out, as others have, that having this baby may have had an additional detrimental effect on the mother psychologically and that such harm should not be considered secondary.
That’s right. Having a baby is not just the moment of birth. It’s a lifetime of responsibility, difficult choices, a crushing expense. And no one can make that decision except the person having that baby. It’s called choice.