A woman’s concern about a bank employee who has shown romantic interest in her is offering up a cold reminder as to how some scenarios are just innately inappropriate for such pursuits.

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u/Lathinan popped into the legaladvice subreddit this week after dealing with the ongoing situation on her own for some time. It all started when she opened up an account at a local credit union over a year ago, and got the impression that the employee handling her information might be into her, so she was particularly cautious about not reciprocating.

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She encountered him again two months later when she went back, and again showed no interest. Six months later, she received a friend request from him on social media. She declined.

“5 months later. The dude messages me directly now. Saying he was the one who opened my account and he thought I was so interesting and funny (Really? Because I just was opening an account dude),” she said. “He said he was talking to his manager there (who happened to be someone I used to work for) and I guess she been telling him information about me.”

Naturally, the redditor was concerned that this man she was being put in a position to repeatedly reject had access to very sensitive information, like her social security number and her ID, and clearly had trouble taking a hint.

Some people didn’t see a problem with the guy shooting his shot, but, first of all, he bothered her not once, but twice, by approaching her on social media. Second, he utilized information he only had in the context of a business transaction (her full name) to track her down. And third, being interested in someone doesn’t make anyone entitled to the opportunity to seek them out and shoot that shot in the first place. 

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There are times when it’s okay to respectfully try, and others when it’s not. Whether there was any way this could have been appropriate, it’s hard to say, but the way this guy handled it clearly was not.

For the most part, readers were just as annoyed at the whole situation as the original poster.

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When in doubt about whether or not it’s appropriate to ask someone out, the best thing you can do is learn how to read the room. This woman says she didn’t show any interest in the guy, didn’t go back to the bank for months, and rejected his friend request. Nothing about that suggests she wants to see where things go with him. And when in doubt…it’s probably best to just not bother a stranger at all.

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*First Published: May 26, 2023, 6:05 am