It’s understood unless explicitly stated that when you attend a wedding, you will be fed. Whether it’s cocktail hour appetizers and a buffet or a sit-down dinner, the expectation is there. You shouldn’t need to bring money for food, and you shouldn’t need to pack a lunchbox or something.
One Redditor recently attended a wedding where she was shocked to discover menus with prices on them — and the food items were way out of her budget. So in order to eat, she snuck out to a local McDonald’s. But before she did that, she told the bride — who called her cheap and asked her to leave. Kind of dramatic, if you ask me, but you know how brides and grooms can get kind of snappy when things don’t go their way.
“Hi, I’m F25. Recently, my colleague (F31) invited me to her wedding, which happened yesterday. I was super excited and happy for her. Just in case, I asked her if there was any guest fees – she said ‘No, you don’t need to pay me anything.’ On the day itself, everything went well until it the reception (dinner time). To my shock, I was presented with a wedding menu that had prices on it. (For example: Steak —- $50) Everything was ridiculously expensive, including the vegetarian options.”
“At first, I wanted to question her because well, she lied to me that I didn’t have to pay for anything. But it was her wedding and I didn’t want to spoil her day by embarrassing her in front of everyone. However, the only other option was to simply not eat, as I didn’t bring enough money for both a meal and a ride back. But this was completely unfavourable as I had skipped my lunch to ‘save space’ for the wedding meal and was pretty hungry.”
“Suddenly, I remembered that I saw a McDonald’s about five minutes away from the hotel. As tactfully as I could, I asked the bride if I could make a quick stop to McDonald’s as I didn’t bring enough money for the reception meal. I said that I’d be back in time for the gift ceremony and cake. I thought she’d agree, but to my horror – she got really upset. She said that she put in so much effort to get this ‘Michelin-star restaurant service’ yet I still wasn’t happy. That I was trying to bring her down by saying that I’d rather eat McDonald’s. Alarmed, I said that I didn’t mean it that way – I just didn’t have the cash for it. She then scoffed, saying – ‘Whose fault is that?'”
“Although I was trying to keep in my anger, those words really pissed me off, so I told her ‘You were the one who lied that I didn’t need to pay anything!’ Getting angry as well, she replied: ‘What I meant was there is no attendance fee! You literally assumed that you’d get a free five-course dinner. Wow, you’re cheaper than I thought!’ With a glare, she asked me to leave her wedding. I did, struckdumb and rather hurt (…And on my way home, I grabbed a Big Mac lol).”
“Back at home, I told my boyfriend everything and asked if I was an a**hole. He thought it was a funny story but said I was an AH – if I didn’t have the money I could always pay her back later. In his exact words, he said ‘You chose the wrong time to be stingy.’ My other friends agree as well, saying that it was not tactful of me for doing that at the wedding – and although she lied, I should have just brushed it off instead of dampening her happy spirits. After hearing their opinions, I felt quite guilty and embarrassed. However, that one little part of me still thinks that it’s justified because 1) she lied to me, and 2) publicly humiliated me. Please help me out. AITA?”
Asking guests to pay for food at a wedding is something I don’t agree with and have never experienced. Like, at least budget for appetizers. What do Redditors think of this situation?
“I’ve never been to a wedding where the guests pay for their meal. Nta.” —Artichoke-8951
“I’ve known about events like birthday or wedding dinners that everyone knows is a paid event in advance, like at a restaurant. But never one that charges people at the door by surprise. What did other guests think, I wonder?” —RideOnMoa
“I was invited to a wedding where we paid our own meals at the reception. It was on the invite ( $24 a head ) and it said not to bring a gift cos we paid for the meal . The couple found out they were pregnant right after getting engaged so they wanted to get married before the baby came but that didn’t leave much time to save for the wedding , or the baby . No one had a problem paying that – it’s a standard price for a main course here not a 3 course meal . Everyone brought a gift as well . We knew exactly what we were getting into though – no nasty surprises.” —elgiesmelgie
“And if you DO expect guests to pay for their meals, do not act surprised/offended if they decide not to and go elsewhere. Especially considering how bad wedding food sometimes can be.” —realfactsmatter
“NTA – But I think you handled it wrong. You shouldn’t have asked her if it was okay to leave and get McDonald’s. You should have done it and come back. The bride/your colleague does sound like a bit of a jerk and she shouldn’t have humiliated you that way. I’ve never been to a wedding where I had to pay for my own food, and I’ve been to some cheap ass weddings and some expensive ass weddings. Next time, you’ll know to be prepared. Also did you buy her a gift? Because if you didn’t and showed up to get a free meal, then you’re a bit of an a**hole.” —PhoenixxFoxx