Here we are again, another wedding, another AITA post on Reddit because adults can’t behave themselves and treat people with consideration.
Redditor u/Fit-Conclusion-1119 recently asked Reddit if she was wrong “for kicking out my bridesmaid for wearing a revealing dress at my wedding?” and the verdict from Reddit might surprise you. Let’s check out her story first.
OP got married last week and she had a friend from college act as one of her bridesmaids.
I 27f got married to my husband 29m last week. I asked my friend from university Ava 26f to be a bridesmaid.
OP’s family is very religious and pretty strict about dressing moderately. OP just goes with it because she doesn’t want the drama. Her parents are also not terribly strict about things, but ask OP to just respect dress policies.
I grew up living with my parents and extended family quite religiously and dressed modestly as my family were very strict and traditional. While I don’t agree with most of their ideas, I do follow them to avoid arguments. My parents don’t share the same ideas and are less religious and have always supported me, but do ask me to respect our extended family’s policies on dressing and culture.
But the bridesmaid is a feminist and really wouldn’t jibe with the family’s feelings on women’s outfits. OP asked her friend to not say anything and to just migrate to the friend group if the family started up. OP’s bridesmaid agreed.
Ava is a very passionate feminist and I know she wouldn’t agree with some of my family’s policies, which is why before the wedding I told her to please not say anything at the wedding and if it upsets her she can always stay closer to our group of friends. She agreed and said she was coming to support me.
The bridesmaid dresses were up to the individual bride, save for the color. OP picked a general “peach” tone and let everyone else decide. She did ask that the dress be modest because of her family.
I picked peach as a dress colour for all my bridesmaids and told them to pick the style they felt comfortable in, as I didn’t specify a particular dress or shade of peach and gave them all 4 months notice. I only asked for the dress to be modest as my wedding would include some of my extended family.
OP’s feminist bridesmaid got the gown custom made and didn’t show OP any photos. Lo and behold, she entered in a tight, revealing peach dress.
Ava said she was getting her dress custom made and never showed me a picture as it was still getting made. At the wedding, she comes in wearing a very tight, revealing peach dress.
The maid of honor kicked the bridesmaid out while the bridesmaid got upset with OP.
My MOH said she would handle it and kicked her out. Ava has said that the dress was her way of expressing herself. She is not talking to me anymore, but I genuinely don’t think I am in the wrong.
OP added in an edit that the dress was a tight, sleeveless mini-dress. Even OP thought the outfit wasn’t wedding appropriate, much less so given the family’s religious tenor.
I called Ava’s dress revealing as she had a tight sleeveless minidress on. I also wear tight clothing myself similar to she wore, but I don’t think that is wedding appropriate, especially as I requested at my wedding for the sake of my extended family that we wear modest clothing.
Reddit thought there wasn’t enough information to judge without seeing the dress.
“Hard to judge without seeing the dress. Some people’s ideas of what counts as “modest” differ,” wrote one user.
A lot of other users asked for more information regarding the dress.
“What is “revealing”? Is she wearing a bandeau top and mini skirt? Does it look like a bridesmaids’ dress or a Vegas dancer’s costume?” wondered someone else.
Another asked, “It is too hard to judge based on subjective words like ‘revealing’, ‘tight’, and ‘modest’, which can mean different things to different people. Can you describe what as so revealing about it or show a picture of a similar style dress?”
Another said, “NTA. Someone else’s wedding is not the time or place to make a statement “expressing yourself.””
“NTA. Your friend knew exactly what she was doing when her excuse was “this is my way of expressing myself.” You asked for modesty. Doesn’t take a genius to figure out what modesty means. Your wedding, your rules. I’m regularly astonished by the number of weddings ruined by selfish assholes like your friend, written about here on Reddit,” wrote another irate Redditor.
But OP also got some YTA votes. One user wrote, “If you didn’t actually want them to pick whatever style they wanted, you should have said so.”
