With a presidential election right around the corner, there’s nowhere to go to escape from politics. Especially not Twitter. But at least on Twitter, there are a lot of people who are great at encapsulating the issues in 280 characters or less, usually in a pretty funny or evocative way. That means it’s possible to get a rundown on how capitalism is funneling money to billionaires and away from basic healthcare services, or affordable housing, or bridges that don’t fall down with a spoonful of comedic sugar.
Below are all the best tweets about the logic—or lack of logic—inherent to late-stage capitalism. It might bum you out, but at least you’ll have something to talk about at Thanksgiving besides Trump.
I fucking hate grocery store check out screens asking me if I want to donate $20 to end child hunger or whatever. You’re a $10 billion corporation. I’m using a coupon to get 50 cents off a bag of potatos. Why don’t YOU donate $20 to end child hunger
— Rebecca 👻 "Our President's a Fascist" 🎃 Watson (@rebeccawatson) November 3, 2019
Inspiring! This CEO Saw One of His Employees Digging Through the Dumpster for Food, So He Bought Her a Headlamp to Make It Easier to Sift through the Garbage
— Jason O. Gilbert (@gilbertjasono) July 19, 2018
Capitalism: good news! with technology we can produce more with half the work.
Workers: cool! so we only have to work half the hours?
Workers: we get paid double?
Workers: we retire sooner?
Capital: btw, we rolled back your pensions
— Existential Comics (@existentialcoms) October 24, 2019
THE SEVEN SECRETS OF HIGHLY SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE
1. Private school
2. Legacy Ivy admission
3. Nepotism hire
4. Seed capital from family
5. Club memberships
6. Personal assistant, nanny, ghost writer
7. Journalists who ask, "What's your secret?" and uncritically publish the answer
— Sandra Newman (@sannewman) November 26, 2019
"Socialist economies don't work," the experts say.
This is in contrast to capitalist economies, which are based on rock-solid principles like "every decade or so the whole thing collapses."
— Ian Goodrum (@isgoodrum) March 30, 2019
dudes in 2040 be like: i dont understand why homeless people don't just get a job or start a business. anyways my 15 minute lunch break is over, better get back to the amazon sorting floor before the ol' shock collar goes off and i get evicted from my sleeping pod
— Valentina (@leftistthot420) October 24, 2019
Bruce Wayne paying 90% taxes on income and capital gains over $10 million would do more to help Gotham than Batman ever could. https://t.co/rGYYLLNTpl
— Austin Gobbleson (@osutein) May 29, 2019
7 things every child needs to hear:
1. I love you.
2. I am proud of you.
3. I am sorry.
4. I forgive you.
5. I am listening.
6. Capitalism is a tool of the upper class designed to keep the people struggling, oppressed, and docile.
7. You have what it takes.
— Benjamin Young Savage (ᐱᓐᒋᐱᓐ) (@benjancewicz) September 5, 2019
Jeff Bezos' D.C. mansion will have:
— 2 elevators
— 25 bathrooms
— 1,006 light fixtures
— A full movie theater
Amazon's Whole Foods cut health benefits for part-time workers less than 2 months ago.
Tax the rich.
— Robert Reich (@RBReich) November 4, 2019
I don’t think we’ve ever seen anything like this. Wall Street, the billionaire class, and the entire political establishment is SHOOK all because Elizabeth Warren wants the wealthiest people in America to pitch in two-cents so everybody else has a chance to succeed. #TaxTheRich
— Ryan Knight 🌹 (@ProudSocialist) November 8, 2019