Kristen Hodges, a self-identifying Jesus fan, is getting dragged to hell for a tweet proclaiming a list of “sins” that will keep you from getting into heaven, no matter how much God loves you. The list includes such gems such as “Being LGBT” (all at the same time?), “Masturbation” and “Being lustful.”

https://twitter.com/KHodgess/status/1141759699622252545

And a screenshot, for posterity:

list of christian sins
twitter

Some of these are arguably listed in the Bible as sins. Others, like “being LGBT,” are not. Most of them are things nearly everybody does on a regular basis.

It’s likely that Kristen here didn’t mean that anyone who does these things at any point in their lives won’t get into heaven. You just need to be ashamed of doing them, because they are sins. Make sure to remember that you are an evil sinner every time you pleasure yourself or generally want to engage in sexual activity.

It’s been a day for condemning masturbation, apparently, as writer Natalia Antonova shared with us this morning by screencapping perhaps the best unintentional masturbation joke there ever was.

Um.

Whether you’re crankin’ it or not, it would definitely be a sin to engage in any or most or even all of the activities that Kristen Hodges listen just to spite her, as many Twitter users are doing right now.

https://twitter.com/SonOfDadAndMom/status/1142142568211394560

Not to brag, but I could knock out all seven in an afternoon.

All jokes aside, Hodges is getting a pretty good Bible lesson from all this ratio.

https://twitter.com/DorkAdorkable/status/1142149838085038080

“Judge not, lest ye be judged” is pretty straightforward, Kristen. Matthew 7:1.

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*First Published: June 21, 2019, 12:07 pm