Donald Trump is under investigation for a phone call he made to the president of the Ukraine in which he threatened to withdraw foreign aid if he didn’t get some dirt on Joe Biden and his son, stat. The Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, has set an impeachment inquiry in motion. It’s an elaborate process that will probably lead nowhere, but it seems to be sending the president into a tailspin. He had a fit on Twitter about presidential harassment, then segued into more of a “doing crimes isn’t so bad” motif. Now he’s landed on saying getting subpoenaed by your own government as sitting president is no big deal!
In a joint press conference with the president of Finland on Wednesday, Donald Trump was of course asked about the impeachment. He responded by saying Nancy Pelosi “hands out subpoenas like they’re cookies,” so basically everyone gets one at snack time. This is pretty untrue and also childish and absurd, like most things Trump says.
Stephen Colbert of The Last Show had the perfect response, crafting a video of delights in less than 60 seconds. It features the Cooke Monster from Sesame Street and a rhyme that will help you remember how to spell “subpoena” forever:
Here’s the rhyme for you to memorize and sing along—heck, teach the kids!
S is for subpoena, Schiff wants your testimony.
U is for Ukraine, do a favor for me.
B is for, what is B doing in this word?
P is for Pompeo and the phone call that he heard.
O is for Oh God, high crimes and misdemeanors.
E is for Eric, he can’t spell ‘subpoenas’.
N is for Nixon, we’ve seen this all before.
A is for get your big ass out the door.
And that’s how you spell subpoena.