Fox News, the obvious bastion of reality during these fraught pandemic times, has been doing little else than screaming 24 hours a day about how we need to open back up the country and restart the economy—America’s grandparents be damned. On Wednesday night, Sean Hannity welcomed esteemed medical professional Dr. Oz onto this show to discuss that very topic.

And what will undoubtedly come as a great surprise, the avowed proponent of alternative medicine is also very much on board with such a notion.

“Well first, we need our mojo back, let’s start with things that are really critical to the nation where we think we might be able to open without getting into a lot of trouble,” Oz told Hannity.

“I tell you, schools are a very appetizing opportunity,” he continued, using, quite possibly, the poorest choice of words ever. “I just saw a nice piece in The Lancet arguing the opening of schools may only cost us 2 to 3 percent in terms of total mortality, and every life is a life lost, but to get every child back into a school where they’re safely being educated, being fed, and making their most out of their lives with the theoretical risk in the backside.”

It might be a tradeoff some folks would consider,” he added. “Maybe get industry back, supply lines, things that we can do without putting the nation at risk.”

It’s hard to know where to even begin in fact-checking that word salad. For starters, the child and adolescent health journal Oz refers to, The Lancet, has seen no shortage of controversy—perhaps most notably, for publishing a 1998 paper that suggested a link between MMR vaccinations and autism.

Not to mention, on the subject of keeping children “safe,” it was widely reported this week that March 2020 was the first March without a school shooting since 2002.

But that’s neither here nor there. By Thursday afternoon Dr. Oz was trending hard on Twitter, as people couldn’t contain their excitement in taking the TV doctor behind the woodshed.

Interestingly enough, variations of the same word kept popping up in many tweets:

Unfortunately, Fox News apparently only cuts off Dr. Oz when he’s getting into exceptionally ghoulish territory, like socialized healthcare. Consider his lesson learned!

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*First Published: April 16, 2020, 1:38 pm