Democratic 2020 frontrunner Elizabeth Warren had the perfect response to an absurd attempt by right-wing conspiracy theorist Jacob Wohl to drum up a sex scandal about the Senator, alleging that she had sex with some men at some point in her life. This is the same guy who was caught trying to create fake sexual assault allegations against Robert Mueller and who somehow thinks that anyone reasonable might still take him seriously.
Congrats to Elizabeth Warren on rising so quickly in the polls she forced Jacob Wohl to write erotica about her. pic.twitter.com/w73YkrEbu2— Ben Collins (@oneunderscore__) October 3, 2019
This attempt at a sex scandal gets wilder every day. The base claim is that Warren had an affair with a 24-year-old Marine. Related allegations have been thrown out wildly by Wohl and his regular accomplice Jack Burkman, including that the Marine was somehow given a vicious scar on his back during a sexcapade with Warren. In typical Wohl fashion, this claim was very easily debunked.
The patsy in Jacob Wohl's latest sex smear says he got a scar from a sexcapade with Elizabeth Warren. His Insta shows something else. pic.twitter.com/fK5HPJT3HX— Brandy Zadrozny (@BrandyZadrozny) October 3, 2019
At the “press conference” to discuss this “bombshell,” Wohl and Burkman set up a sign in front of their podium displaying Elizabeth Warren giving a speech with overlay text that reads “Elizabeth Warren Cougar?” The term “cougar” in this context, of course, refers to the idea of an older woman who enjoys sexual relations with younger men.
oh no how will she ever come back from this pic.twitter.com/rw2vfjgXbX— John Ganz (@lionel_trolling) October 3, 2019
If that’s the best they can come up with, they’re going to be really disappointed in the results of the 2020 election.
All other jokes aside, Warren herself came up with the best response to the accusation that she’s a cougar. She is one!
It's always a good day to be reminded that I got where I am because a great education was available for $50 a semester at the University of Houston (go Cougars!). We need to cancel student debt and make college free for everyone who wants it. pic.twitter.com/fHasLm0j9P— Elizabeth Warren (@ewarren) October 3, 2019
“It’s always a good day to be reminded that I got where I am because a great education was available for $50 a semester at the University of Houston (go Cougars!),” the senator wrote in her tweet. She even managed to turn the smear campaign into another way to promote her platforms around student loan debt and college tuition costs.
The outright hilariousness of this already-bungled attempt at creating a fake scandal had prompted widespread speculation that this entire thing will only boost Warren’s poll numbers further.
Jacob Wohl: Liz Warren was banging a 24-year old Marine/bodybuilder.— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) October 3, 2019
“Elizabeth Warren slept with a much younger man.”— Charlotte Clymer🏳️🌈 (@cmclymer) October 3, 2019
“Elizabeth Warren will destroy Facebook.”
Between Zuckerberg and Jacob Wohl, Elizabeth Warren is gonna have the nomination sewn up by the holidays.
I missed the Jacob Wohl thing, but I infer that Elizabeth Warren will now change her campaign slogan to "Warren 2020: Unstoppable Sex Monster" and win in a landslide?— Rex Huppke (@RexHuppke) October 3, 2019
I just signed on after a few hours to discover Jacob Wohl is doing his best to make sure every woman in the United States over the age of 50 will vote for Elizabeth Warren. pic.twitter.com/leezzYX4wP— (((Helaine Olen))) (@helaineolen) October 3, 2019
Wohl: I have a juicy scandal that will destroy Elizabeth Warren!— Jeet Heer (@HeerJeet) October 3, 2019
Normal People: What is it?
Wohl: She fucks.
NP: ...um... and....:
Wohl: I means she fucks all the time!
Wohl: Hot, hot sex with totally ripped dudes.
NP: Excuse, I gotta send money to the Warren campaign.
In general, the joke potential on this entire affair is endless.
Uh oh, warning signs for Elizabeth Warren in the latest Reuters poll pic.twitter.com/PD4O1psntO— Jason O. Gilbert (@gilbertjasono) October 3, 2019
the most risible thing about wohl's cougar scam is the implicit assumption that there are still voters who care about sex scandals. who exactly are you gonna scare off of warren with this, values voters who've already voted for trump?— pumpkin spice liz bruenig (@ebruenig) October 3, 2019
Jacob Wohl's fake Warren sex scandal guy has a Vin Diesel XXX tattoo I am fucking dying hahahaha https://t.co/P0wyUYKe96— Big Supernaturals (@UweBollocks) October 3, 2019
Jacob Wohl claims Liz Warren had an affair with a 24-year old marine.— The Hoarse Whisperer (@HoarseWisperer) October 3, 2019
I hope this is untrue. With her stamina, she could’ve killed the poor man.
Keep on keepin’ on, Jacob.