As a kid, it’s really common for bullies to latch onto a physical insecurity you have and make fun of it. Whether it’s freckles or a bad tooth or a big nose or something else, picking on a body part is sadly a very powerful way to be cruel. And when it’s someone in your family? Well, it’s probably not a good idea to ignore that kind of bullying.
One Redditor who is preparing for her wedding came up against some bullying and body shaming in her family when her future SIL made two digs at her flat chest at a dinner party. Later, the OP decided to give her SIL a taste of her own medicine by digging back at her and making a joke about her nose.
“To get this out of the way: I’m a flatchested girl. I suffered from health issues and growth problems so I’m small but I’m proud of myself.”
“My fiance and I went over to his parents house for his niece’s birthday. I wore a sweetheart shape dress and my SIL (Mel) who always comments on my chest, saw the dress and went like ‘this dress needs boobs, you ain’t got any.’ I ignored her but then at dinner she asked if I was planning on getting a plastic surgery before the wedding so that I don’t ‘ruin’ the wedding dress. I found this offensive especially when others were watching.”
“I said nothing but when we were sitting in the living room later, Mel suddenly started wiping her nose and trying to clear it (it’s stuffed due to cold apparently). She has a large nose so I smiled and asked ‘do you need help with that? I could get the plunger for you.’ She was stunned and the room got awkward after her husband was laughing. She was fuming and told my fiance that I stepped out of line and ruined her daughter’s birthday with my words that humiliated her. My fiance said I shouldn’t have caused a scene after his parents told us to leave. I explained how her comments made me feel but he said she said it was out of concern but my comment was out of hate. Now she’s expecting an apology. Did I go too far here?”
Nope! Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
“Where are you women getting these men that wouldn’t stand up for you against their family bullying? You might want to condider the relationship ? NTA, by the way. She deserved every bit that came to her. Your man is an **shole, though. An apology for what?” —Teresa_Chavez
“The part where her fiance said Mel’s comments were out of concern made me pause. At that point I started to wonder, does OP’s fiance agree with his sister but doesn’t feel like he can say that to OP? Maybe that’s why he’s not defending OP against those remarks. I can’t figure out another reason why he would describe those comments as coming from a place of concern, unless he is also somewhat ‘concerned’ about it. Edit: NTA! To be clear, I am a proud member of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee. If OP’s fiance agrees with Mel then he is also ridiculous. Unfortunately his wording, and failure to defend OP made me think he may feel similarly. He may even have said something about it to Mel/his family, which would be extra gross.” —emilygoldfinch410
“If someone commented on my partner’s chest offensively like that, I’d roast them to ashes, and finally go NC with them. Folks, choose people who love you, respect you, and stand by you when you are wronged.” —000-Hotaru_Tomoe
“Yup. He’s given you the sneak peek of a lifetime. You can see this red flag or spend your marriage being the butt of the jokes.” —vomitthewords
“I didn’t get why he said his sister said it out of concern. That makes zero sense to me. Concern for what? How is stating her smaller chest would ruin the wedding something that comes from a loving, caring place? How would having a smaller chest ruin a wedding at all? Fiancé needs to check his own feelings on the matter and if it bothers him so much that OP has a smaller chest, he needs to grow up and get over it and love her the way she is or if he can’t, leave so she can find someone who will love her the way she should be because she’s perfect as is.” —East_Donut2862