With the coronavirus pandemic taking over the globe and people’s lives, more and more of us are staying in and cooking our own food. Delivery feels a bit risky right now (though the FDA has said there is no risk of the virus traveling on food), and there’s just something comforting about preparing your own meals when there’s nothing else going on anyway.
Since we’re all stuck inside, why not learn something while we’re at it? That is, how to actually cook something edible. You know, something that isn’t a microwave dinner or carbalicious bagel bites (which, for the record, are still delicious).
Thankfully, one food service worker shared helpful tips on how those of us who can’t cook can prepare for ourselves without coming down with salmonella or otherwise poisoning ourselves.
Food service worker Dylan Morrison, educated Twitter users by sharing these food safety and kitchen cleanliness tips…for the more clueless of us out here.
hi, it’s me, a food service employee! & uhhh… no offense or anything, but i’ve seen how some of you… live? so in case you’ve, just spitballing here, found yourself w/ a pile of quarantine food but haven’t eaten anything but takeout in 25 years: here is some food safety info.
— dylan morrison 🍓 (@dylan_thyme) March 13, 2020
The first tip? Try not to poison yourself. The hospitals are already crammed with sick folks during the coronavirus pandemic.
food safety is very important!! without it you get food poisoning, which often requires medical attention, and the medical system is, uh, about to be real busy. so, as reading incentive, at the end of this thread i will include a curated selection of my wildest customer stories.
— dylan morrison 🍓 (@dylan_thyme) March 13, 2020
Also, Morrison promised us some delicious (get it?) stories from customers, like this zinger.
as a show of good faith on the customer stories: i work in the prepared foods section of a high-end grocery chain, and i once had a customer deadass ask me “is the salmon grass fed??” i’ll let you sit with that one.
— dylan morrison 🍓 (@dylan_thyme) March 13, 2020
Naturally—wash your dang hands (in general and before prepping food!).
obviously: wash you goddamn hands. wash them before you cook anything, wash them after you touch raw meat or seafood or eggs, wash them before you eat. wash them even if you think “oh this is probably overkill.” wash your hands!!!!
— dylan morrison 🍓 (@dylan_thyme) March 13, 2020
And then he shared some actually SUPER useful info about cooking. Temps in Fahrenheit. Oh, and use Google!
poultry & beef need to be cooked to at least 165 degrees; pork’s FDA recommendation is 145 but some people swear it should be 165 (read: dry), do what you want. seafood is mostly recommended at 145 but that’s typically overcooked as FUCK, google and take your own chances there.
— dylan morrison 🍓 (@dylan_thyme) March 13, 2020
Need to thaw something? Maybe a chunk of fish? Run it under cold (not hot!) water.
if thawing something from frozen the safest method is to transfer it right to the fridge and let it thaw gently overnight (or longer, depending on how big it is). if you need it fast: put it, sealed up in its packaging, in a bowl under running COLD water until it thaws.
— dylan morrison 🍓 (@dylan_thyme) March 13, 2020
you technically have about four hours in which fridge foods/hot foods can sit out at room temp, but that’s cumulative and includes like. the prep time before they’re cooked and shit, so. if it’s been sitting out more than two hours, don’t… eat that
— dylan morrison 🍓 (@dylan_thyme) March 13, 2020
This is important, people. There’s something called a bacterial hot zone which is between 41 and 135 degrees.
“but dylan what about room temp pizza it never goes bad” FALSE. i know so many people who think this and it’s WRONG, i personally know someone who ate pizza that had been sitting out for like 10 hours and do you know what she got for her trouble? pancreatitis
— dylan morrison 🍓 (@dylan_thyme) March 13, 2020
once cooked, food needs to COOL and GO IN THE FRIDGE. you want to cool it quickly to limit time in the BACTERIAL HOT ZONE. divide it into smaller containers (it’ll cool faster) and put it in the fridge uncovered until it’s cool. then you can recombine it and pop a lid on it.
— dylan morrison 🍓 (@dylan_thyme) March 13, 2020
(full disclosure: at home i do regularly divide shit into smaller containers and then let them cool uncovered on the counter for 20min or so, but it’s not like. best practice? but it’s probably fine. but i’m not, you understand, recommending it or anything.)
— dylan morrison 🍓 (@dylan_thyme) March 13, 2020
Reheating food? Here’s the best way to do it.
when you reheat an already cooked food or hold it hot it needs to be between 135 degrees and 180 degrees. over 180 will torch it, under 135 and you’re in the BACTERIAL HOT ZONE, where bacteria multiples rapidly and turns your food into poison! poison’s bad, folks.
— dylan morrison 🍓 (@dylan_thyme) March 13, 2020
on the other end of the spectrum, cold foods (ie, fridge items) need to be stored between 28 and 41 degrees. colder than 28 and that shit’s frozen, warmer than 41 and you’re once again in THE BACTERIAL HOT ZONE, making your dinner a spa vacation for shit that can kill you.
— dylan morrison 🍓 (@dylan_thyme) March 13, 2020
giving it its own tweet so it really sticks: THE BACTERIAL HOT ZONE FOR FOOD IS BETWEEN 41 AND 135 DEGREES. this encompasses the temperature of most rooms, hence the tweet about letting food hang out at room temp too long. don’t do it! don’t get food poisoning.
— dylan morrison 🍓 (@dylan_thyme) March 13, 2020
Also, reheating multiple times amps up the bacteria.
also, once you cook a food and then go to reheat it, only reheat the amount you intend to eat in that one sitting! don’t reheat foods multiple times! every time you reheat something it passes through the BACTERIAL HOT ZONE, which, as mentioned, is a cumulative situation.
— dylan morrison 🍓 (@dylan_thyme) March 13, 2020
And seafood? It’s got an even shorter lifespan.
once cooked most foods are fine to eat for about 5 days (give seafood 3). if you can, take a tip from professional kitchens everywhere and buy some masking tape and a sharpie. write both the date it was made and the date it goes bad on the tape and slap it on the container.
— dylan morrison 🍓 (@dylan_thyme) March 13, 2020
Oh, and if it looks and smells sketchy, DON’T EAT IT. You’d think people wouldn’t need to give this advice…
if it smells off, don’t eat it! if it looks off, don’t eat it! if there’s mold on it, don’t eat it (except hard, and ONLY HARD, cheeses, where you can usually just cut that shit off). if it’s expired, don’t eat it! if it tastes off, SPIT IT OUT.
— dylan morrison 🍓 (@dylan_thyme) March 13, 2020
Get a food thermometer. Seriously. Here is why and how:
something to buy right now if you don’t have it: a good food thermometer, ideally instant read, the thermopop (linked) is great but you can get one for like $12 on amazon and that’s typically fine too https://t.co/FkSHh3UXXi
— dylan morrison 🍓 (@dylan_thyme) March 13, 2020
when temping food: insert the thermometer into the thickest, densest part of whatever you’re temping and give the thermometer a few seconds to stabilize the reading. spot check in a few different places on any large dish.
— dylan morrison 🍓 (@dylan_thyme) March 13, 2020
FOOD SAFETY REGARDING FOODS PEOPLE LIKELY BOUGHT FOR PANDEMIC PREP:
— dylan morrison 🍓 (@dylan_thyme) March 13, 2020
You need to actually, truly soak dried beans. It’s not a suggestion. It’s a rule.
maybe you bought kidney beans! if they’re in a can, great, they’re already safe. if you bought them dry: THEY ARE POISONOUS, you need to soak them overnight AND boil them for at least ten minutes to make them… not be poisonous.
— dylan morrison 🍓 (@dylan_thyme) March 13, 2020
Sprouted potatoes? We’ve all been there. Don’t eat them.
if you bought potatoes and they start to sprout, throw that shit away; potato sprouts, leaves and stems are also poisonous! i can’t say this strongly enough: don’t be die of old potato
— dylan morrison 🍓 (@dylan_thyme) March 13, 2020
Huge dent in the can? Don’t eat it.
if you’ve got a canned food and the can has a small dent in it, whatever, who among us isn’t a little dented these days. if it has a large dent it, or a dent on a seam, or is rusted, that food in there is chock full of bacteria! don’t eat that.
— dylan morrison 🍓 (@dylan_thyme) March 13, 2020
Apparently “best by” dates are a suggestion. Expiration dates, however, you must follow.
if food has a “best before” date on it it’s typically fine to eat after that date passes, it’ll just be less delicious. if it has an expiration or “use by” date, don’t eat it after that date passes! ☠️
— dylan morrison 🍓 (@dylan_thyme) March 13, 2020
“but dylan i eat things past the expiration date and/or violate other food safety rules all the time and i’m fine” bully for you!! but this is not the time to be fucking around or taking your chances with that shit. the 👏 hospitals 👏 will 👏 be 👏 occupied 👏
— dylan morrison 🍓 (@dylan_thyme) March 13, 2020
And now for the ridiculous & amusing stories.
the customer who ordered a thanksgiving meal from me, came and picked it up the day before thanksgiving, then called me on thanksgiving day and screamed at me because the food wasn’t hot when she removed it from her own refrigerator
— dylan morrison 🍓 (@dylan_thyme) March 13, 2020
the customer who comes in to get black forest ham, but insists her children are allergic to the coating on the ham, but not to the ham inside, which is identical to our other ham, which she won’t buy. so once a week we ruin a black forest ham by cutting off the coating w/ a knife
— dylan morrison 🍓 (@dylan_thyme) March 13, 2020
the customer who would come in, get exactly a quarter pound (0.26 was too much, 0.24 too little), make us cut it in bite size pieces, and then walk around the store slowly and silently eating it before leaving without paying
— dylan morrison 🍓 (@dylan_thyme) March 13, 2020
in summary: don’t eat that pizza that’s been sitting out since tuesday, for society. my DMs are always open if you have questions. take care of yourselves and each other here in the brave new horrible bad world. 💜💜💜
— dylan morrison 🍓 (@dylan_thyme) March 13, 2020
Oh and one more reminder about beef:
oh my ACTUAL GOD apparently ground beef IS in fact 165 and all OTHER beef is 145 and the moral of this story is that it turns out i hate beef. i am as surprised as anyone. STAY SAFE OUT THERE, TAKE YE BEEF CHANCES AS YE MAY
— dylan morrison 🍓 (@dylan_thyme) March 14, 2020
Dylan, you are a hero. We all agree.
I am a health inspector and a former foodservice worker and I approve of all of these messages and RELATE SO HARD to those stories. Some people’s children, man… 👀
— Gina (@mombrainafter8) March 14, 2020
Thanks for (maybe) saving my life. Also the guy who never picks up his order? He is contacting you from an adjacent universe where his Dylan never has anything ready, yet he keeps trying. Have a little pity for him (or, or maybe he is just an ass, my theory is more fun ‘tho)
— the1truestripes (@the1truestripes) March 13, 2020
As a career food service trans dude also, bless you for this post.
— Blake the Drake (@SmutWithPlot) March 14, 2020
Or Dylan
— Sam (@Sams_in_Seattle) March 14, 2020
