Republicans have been unable to get over themselves after Nike decided not to release a version of their shoes with the old Betsy Ross flag that flew over the nation when things live slavery and murdering Native Americans were still popular. The move came after former football star and current American hero Colin Kaepernick pointed this out to the company, and conservatives went full Red Scare, accusing Nike of being run by Communist China and encouraging another inane boycott.
The Nike nonsense has continued into today, perhaps because they need something to freak out about while the rest of us are focusing our outrage on the fact that we have concentration camps on our soil right now. Leading the nonsense includes such figures as Donald Trump Jr., who tweeted this gem:
If the Betsy Ross Flag, the flag of the American Revolution, is too offensive for Nike to commemorate The 4th of July maybe Nike should go with this… seems to be more in line with their views. pic.twitter.com/prAyOwTOau
— Donald Trump Jr. (@DonaldJTrumpJr) July 3, 2019
Yes, because anyone who dislikes our country’s history of slavery and general oppression is automatically a communist.
Even Dan Lipinski, who is technically a Democrat but has a reputation for being one of the most conservative Democrats in the U.S. House of Representatives, hopped on board the outrage train by tweeting out a photo of his ugly shoes for patriot points.
I'm sitting here working. Notice I'm not wearing Nikes, nor will I anytime soon. pic.twitter.com/MFZBau1DQV
— Dan Lipinski (@DanLipinski) July 2, 2019
This is the definition of “weird flex but ok.”
Meanwhile, over in Fox News world, Laura Ingraham has announced her own Nike boycott. In response, many of her fans are apparently declaring that they will be switching their preferred footwear brand to Converse. However, that is not going to have the intended effect.
After Laura Ingraham announced her boycott of @Nike a lot of the Racist MAGA accounts are following her lead and bragging that they are switching to @Converse
If you donβt understand how funny that is
Please google βWho owns Converse?β
Iβll wait.
MAGA people are such idiots.
— YS (@NYinLA2121) July 2, 2019
If you can’t or don’t want to Google “who owns Converse,” Nike owns it. The only way that could have been better is if Converse was co-owned by Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and the ghost of Karl Marx.
All of this outrage over Nike shoes has created fertile soil for quality dunks. Here are the funniest tweets from this whole debacle:
1.
brb, adding this to our online store https://t.co/pxP6j061i4
— Jacobin (@jacobinmag) July 3, 2019
2.
https://twitter.com/DavidKlion/status/1146442908788318209
3.
Interesting criticism in footwear when Trump licks a Russian KGB dictator's boots and says he's in love with the Communist dictator in North Korea. https://t.co/BxPTwVVCxS
— Garry Kasparov (@Kasparov63) July 3, 2019
4.
All property is theft, but these are some sweet kicks… https://t.co/aK1c82FTt5
— Mike Stuchbery ππ· (@MikeStuchbery_) July 3, 2019
5.
Could give af about this dude, his opinions, or his father without whom he'd just be a greasy "Wall Street" movie extra plucked out of time but if you don't think these go hard… Idk what to tell you. These would slap with a 49ers @Kaepernick7 or a Cavaliers' @KingJames jersey https://t.co/YcdAS1NTQK
— Frank Mitchell, Flat Top Republican (@GuruBluXVIII) July 3, 2019
6.
Pretty sure your dad got a pair of these from his boss in Moscow. https://t.co/kwuGfoHCgg
— Elizabeth Spiers (@espiers) July 3, 2019
7.
TFW you understand communism https://t.co/PdXq9BrwYo
— Kate Aronoff (@KateAronoff) July 3, 2019
8.
This pandering is so transparent and so sad and so cringey and so desperate that I actually somehow feel sorry for you. https://t.co/8RLcUq1hHg
— Charlotte Clymer π³οΈβπ (@cmclymer) July 3, 2019
9.
If you're a congressperson tweeting about shoes with all the shit going on right now, the history books are gonna piss on your grave, man. https://t.co/aP679VgjXN
— πππ ππππππ β’ (@EliBegins) July 3, 2019
10.
Wearing ugly shoes to own the libs. https://t.co/21HFjtMdIp
— {Abrasive Synth} (@WStuartross) July 3, 2019
11.
You're wearing New Balances. People that wear NB can't wear Nikes anyway, your feet are too fat or your arches too flat. https://t.co/TOmLYTbVgC
— StormyBoo (@StormyBluePup) July 3, 2019
12.
lmao oh damn don't flex on us like that dan https://t.co/XIHXm9PRsS
— jordan (@JordanUhl) July 3, 2019
13.
Dan, your stretched out red polo and purple khakis are a perfect match with those New Balances! https://t.co/bU8ci3lH5T
— Evan? (@El_Smyth) July 3, 2019
14.
Isn’t this your official political account.
Pretty sure there is an ethics violation in your tweet. Maybe @CREWcrew can determine if your tweet violates an ethic rule. pic.twitter.com/O3nghmwnPJ
β Corrie ???????????? (@osborncorrie) July 3, 2019
15.
Didn't y'all already burn your shoes the first time they supported Colin? Did you already get another pair again?? https://t.co/hY1UiRPUd8
— SHARPTOOTH (@sharptoothmd) July 2, 2019
16.
https://twitter.com/Nickelow7/status/1146130523376369664
17.
Let's be real, Laura.
You're a velcro family anyway. https://t.co/p82z9aZ73C
— Colin Kaepernick 7οΈβ£ Was Exiled Exercising Rights (@RickStrom) July 2, 2019
18.
https://twitter.com/haydenblack/status/1146142353142403072
19.
If I'm not mistaken, no one should be putting the flag on shoes anyway, theres something in the code about it. But then your kind doesn't read facts and things so π€·πΎββοΈ https://t.co/uA8jnByVUp
— MS. JUNE (@JuneMo41) July 2, 2019
20.
Uh oh, how will the nike monarch line ever survive without the white supremacist market buying their shoes? https://t.co/cJonY1Thnk
— Francis Maxwell (@francismmaxwell) July 2, 2019
21.
I presumed you only wore jackboots. https://t.co/em5bANuYQ8
— Stephen Robinson (@SER1897) July 2, 2019
Anyway, we still have concentration camps on U.S. soil.
