Parenting is hard work, but it’s at least a little easier when you can count on teachers to watch over your little hellions for six or seven hours a day during the school year. But when summer vacation rolls around it’s all on you, and it’s a lot. You’ve got to plan activities, keep your kids out of trouble, and answer all of their questions (why do they have so many questions!?). Once you’ve got kids, your days of lazily relaxing during the summer are over and that extra work with no break can really make a person snap. At least that’s what it did to these hilarious parents.
My 6yo carried our Google Home Mini around the house all day asking it question after question to the point where I found it locked in the bathroom crying with a glass of wine.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) July 8, 2019
5: mom, there’s pee under the dining room table.
Me: WHAT? HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?
5: I dunno
Me: then how did you know it was there???
— Celeste Yvonne (@andwhatamom) July 7, 2019
Me: We should get a bigger car.
Wife: You're not thinking we should have another kid, right?
Me: No, I'm just tired of being able to hear the ones we do have when we are driving.
— A Bearer Of Dad News ✊🏾 (@HomeWithPeanut) July 9, 2019
Day 39 of summer break:
My son is mad at me because I won’t let him use a chainsaw.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) July 9, 2019
Wife: Our son is pretty strong-willed sometimes, huh?
Me: We’re not in a parent-teacher conference. You can just say he’s an asshole sometimes.
— The Dad (@thedad) July 6, 2019
No one is full of more false hope than a parent bringing a chair to the beach.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) June 28, 2018
"Oh shit, I'm supposed to go find them…"
"The kids. We were playing hide and seek."
-my husband, about 20 minutes into a conversation he and I were having
— Lauren Mullen (@DraggingFeeties) June 24, 2019
I’ve heard of pre-marriage counseling but I really feel like we should go in for a tune up before we pack this car for vacation.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) June 23, 2019
My eight year old has started talking back and then saying (outloud) “hashtag roasted” and dabbing. Not one of the parenting books prepared me for this.
— Ally (@TragicAllyHere) June 23, 2019