Zoom D*ck Is A Thing, And Here Come The Jokes

October 20, 2020, 6:58 am


We’re a solid eight months into the pandemic at this point. Anyone still working from home should have a reasonable grasp on how Zoom functions. Sure, the occasional mishaps may still happen, but there are mishaps and then there’s “accidentally” masturbating in the middle of a work conference.

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The New Yorker reporter Jeffrey Toobin was suspended after doing the latter, which he called an “embarrassingly stupid mistake.” In an apology issued through VICE, Toobin said he believed he “was off-camera” during a virtual meeting that was apparently attended by a number of high-profile people from The New Yorker and WNYC radio.

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“I believed I was not visible on Zoom,” he said. “I thought no one on the Zoom call could see me. I thought I had muted the Zoom video.”

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While that’s all well and good, masturbating in the middle of a work conference, even if you think nobody can see you, is a little bit insane. And the internet seemed to agree, causing “Zoom Dick” to trend all day on Twitter as people tried to wrap their heads around the absurdity of it all.

And while exposing yourself to your colleagues isn’t exactly a laughing matter, and there’s a lot that needs to be examined here, the whole thing did leave us with some good jokes. Here are some of the best:

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*First Published: October 20, 2020, 6:58 am