One of the more ridiculous job ads ever seen in the wild was recently posted to Reddit’s “Antiwork” forum to get trashed by users who are less than enamored at the idea of working at a place that must be a nightmare for any women unfortunate enough to be hired here. It’s unclear what the job is, precisely, but notes that applicants should be familiar with things like carpentry and plumbing — industries that have long and storied histories of being incredibly sexist.

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The ad starts out with the use of the term “soyboys,” which refers to something about soy having some estrogen in it and estrogen is associated with women, who are of course bad, and it doesn’t get much better from there.

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“SOYBOYS NEED NOT APPLY!” it declares.

“Small local company needs real men to do real work, this is not a sit on your butt job. We are looking for self starters that get up early and work until the job is complete. Must be familiar with tools (like a real man) and have some general knowledge about general carpentry, electrical, and plumbing.”

The ad then goes on to explain exactly what a real man is and is not allowed to do or enjoy, and boy, being a “real man” sure sounds like an utterly miserable existence.

“Real men don’t have long hair, don’t vape, and don’t have cats,” it says.

Imagine denying yourself the joys of sharing your home with a vibrating furball that pumps out free dopamine in between being a hilarious goofus whose antics are universally beloved to the point that people make good money just filming them.

The offer of boots, a lifetime of working oneself to death, and emotional repression just doesn’t sound appealing in comparison.

“Real men do have steel toe boots, enjoy hard work, and pursue their goals with limitless vigor,” it continues. “This is not a position where we talk about feelings, nor do we whine or cry.”

Somehow, $4,000 to $6,000 per month for full-time toxic masculinity does not sound appealing to many Redditors who frequent Antiwork. It’s also entirely unclear whether women are allowed to apply, and if so, whether the same hair, smoking, and pet preference restrictions apply to them.

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A number of users pointed out that the pay is quite low for someone skilled in just one of the areas listed, let alone three specialties at once, in addition to likely being an utterly toxic workplace.

To many, the over-the-top macho guy act is likely going to be used to shame any employees into working harder than they should for the pay and accepting workplace abuse. Others had ideas for what could be sent in with your resume, or instead of one.

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*First Published: November 4, 2022, 2:06 pm