The month of April has somehow both sped by at the speed of light and lasted a thousand terrible years, but the end of it is almost maybe kind of in sight. Whether or not the same is true with this initial wave of the coronavirus pandemic depends largely on all of us, and that is unfortunate, because some of us are not responding well.
Thanks to the efforts of public health experts and local leaders, areas of the U.S. are beginning to reach the peak and head downward in terms of coronavirus cases and deaths. Just as was explained to us again and again, we have been somewhat successful in flattening the curve, preventing a large number of deaths that would have occurred had we done nothing about the pandemic.
As a result, lockdown protestors are joining together to demand that we throw all of that success away so that they can go back to their miserable jobs and stupid hair cuts.
These anti-science protestors are stupid af.
Can I get an amen? pic.twitter.com/I9I0ciqxvy
— God (@thegoodgodabove) April 19, 2020
It’s only a matter of time before reports start appearing of protesters coming down with COVID-19 symptoms, and we might end up with another wave of the pandemic as a result. In the meantime, there is some small comfort to be had in all the jokes that people are coming up with to mock these future coronavirus patients.
Because sometimes laughing at people’s willful ignorance is preferable to giving in to despair, here are our favorite jokes on the subject:
“Ma’am, this is a Baskin Robbins.” pic.twitter.com/F0iVIzfWmG
— Vanessa Ramos (@thatRamosgirl) April 18, 2020
I do not think it means what you think it means. pic.twitter.com/oASjHzoKsS
— ilyseh (@ilyseh) April 19, 2020
When the zoo says I'm not allowed to jump the fence and hug the gorillas pic.twitter.com/koBGkfV8Dc
— cullen "swamp trash" crawford (@HelloCullen) April 19, 2020
Boomers accused millenials of being soft and entitled and a month in are protesting being unable to eat at Baskin Robbins.
— Tres Flechas Niloc (@NotNiloc) April 18, 2020
— communism is good tho (@ofthegarza) April 20, 2020
— Steve Marmel (@Marmel) April 20, 2020
If you think the country should reopen because you need a haircut, you have to get this one pic.twitter.com/pepE9ALiUS
— Rachel McCartney (@RachelMComedy) April 20, 2020
Free the migrant kids in cages and put all the anti-stay at home protestors in there.
— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) April 19, 2020
I heard someone call the protest at Niagara Square the "Moron 500" and I can't get it out of my head pic.twitter.com/300HCQYhEa
— please go vote (@EvanLang) April 20, 2020
sitting in the passenger side of my best friend’s ride, trying to holler at scrubs pic.twitter.com/NfVm9aGnrg
— nate of the living dead (@MNateShyamalan) April 20, 2020
presented without comment, here's al*x j*nes shaking hands at a protest against public health in texas pic.twitter.com/1CrrHXaNsR
— 𝙇𝙪𝙘𝙮 𝘿𝙞𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙡𝙤 (@SatansJacuzzi) April 20, 2020
in any authentic revolutionary movement, the letter G's are exactly the same: pic.twitter.com/WmKT5nFYQz
— Uncas Blythe (@punicgoddess) April 19, 2020
Did the virus write this? https://t.co/3AigQuF1aL
— Lindsay Beyerstein (@beyerstein) April 20, 2020
The final season of The Walking Dead sucks. https://t.co/riGA8q25pI
— Sleeping Giants (@slpng_giants) April 15, 2020
I can totally empathize with the people protesting social distancing guidelines because when I was a toddler I didn’t wanna go pee-pee in the potty.
— Randy Rainbow (@RandyRainbow) April 20, 2020
Help me out here. If I'm understanding this correctly it's the 'Prepper' set who've been hoarding food and building underground silos where they can live for 2 years in the event of a nuclear winter… who are protesting because can't handle being indoors no more?
— JΞSŦΞR ✪ ΔCŦUΔL³³°¹ (@th3j35t3r) April 20, 2020
— 𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐫𝐢𝐝 (@ingriddd_xo) April 17, 2020
— Roland Dodds (@RolandDodds) April 20, 2020