How do you get anti-maskers to wear a mask?

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If the United States could solve that problem, we might actually be able to make some leeway towards safely reopening society instead of being perpetually split between throwing our hands up while pretending everything’s fine and literally never leaving our homes.

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But anti-maskers are stubborn to the point of self-destruction, and nothing seems able to convince them that refusing to take precautions to protect others isn’t actually a sign of weakness or surrendering to governmental control. 

Fortunately, one guy came up with a solution based around something the same “patriots” who hate masks seem to love — guns.

No, Allen Pan isn’t threatening to shoot anti-maskers. Well, not in the way that first comes to mind, anyway. The inventor and YouTuber created a gun specifically designed to shoot masks onto people’s faces.

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“This is kind of a uniquely American problem,” Pan says, referring, of course, to the anti-mask phenomenon. “So what are we going to do about it? What am I going to do about it?”

Noting that these science-deniers haven’t seemed remotely moved by any of the scores of videos and studies proving that masks are, in fact, effective in preventing the spread of COVID-19, Pan decided to go in a different direction.

“An American problem demands American solutions,” he says.

Enter: the mask gun.

Pan’s video goes into depth about how to create the gun, but we’re going to skip ahead to the finished product. It looks, as he says in the video, “absolutely fricking insane.”

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“At this point, it wouldn’t even have to work, I think it just has enough intimidation factor,” he added.

Using a simple stiff surgical mask and some adhesive, Pan was able to effectively shoot a mask directly onto a dummy, ensuring that if that thing was able to breathe, it wouldn’t be spitting out coronavirus particles on anyone crossing its path.

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Of course, testing it out on humans was just as important, so Pan offered himself up as tribute.

At point blank range, it did the trick, and Pan was properly masked up.

After testing his mask gun out with some focus groups in Huntington Beach, Pan uploaded the video, which quickly gathered a lot of support.

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It’s hard to imagine how the freedom-loving, gun-toting anti-maskers will be able to twist up all their beliefs to justify hating on the mask gun.

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“We’re allowed to use the Second Amendment to protect ourselves,” Pan says. 

And anyway, what’s more protective than ensuring public health??

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*First Published: August 17, 2020, 12:06 pm