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Gaetz has been strongly denying all charges, having his office tell the NYT in a statement, “Matt Gaetz has never paid for sex. Matt Gaetz refutes all the disgusting allegations completely. Matt Gaetz has never ever been on any such websites whatsoever. Matt Gaetz cherishes the relationships in his past and looks forward to marrying the love of his life.”

That may be up to the DOJ to determine, but ABC News reports that people who know Gaetz have said that his behavior at work does not indicate that he “cherishes” his past relationships. Anonymous sources told the Miami Herald that Gaetz and several other young male lawmakers had a “game” where they scored their sexual conquests.

The game used a point system, where “targets such as interns, staffers or other female colleagues in the state House” had different values. One of the categories was “virgin.”

It may only be a matter of time before Gaetz accidentally confesses to creating this game while viciously denying it. Viewers were astounded when during an interview with Fox News, he brought up allegations that there were “pictures of me with child prostitutes” which no one had heard about…

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“There will be no such pictures because no such thing happened,” Gaetz said.

He did already admit to Axios that he has bought stuff and paid for stuff for some women.

“I have definitely, in my single days, provided for women I’ve dated. You know, I’ve paid for flights, for hotel rooms,” he stated. “I’ve been, you know, generous as a partner. I think someone is trying to make that look criminal when it is not.”

Who knows what he’ll confess to next.

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*First Published: April 2, 2021, 8:04 am