Mike Pence Told Everyone To ‘Spend More Time On Your Knees,’ And The Jokes Wrote Themselves

Vice President and noted homophobe Mike Pence gave everyone a case of the giggles over a strange piece of advice he offered to a gathering of conservatives called the Alliance Defending Freedom on Tuesday. If you’re unfamiliar with ADF, they’re basically an LGBTQ hate group, and yes, the vice president was attending their event as a speaker.

They’re the people behind the Masterpiece Cakeshop case, in which a baker refused to make a cake for a gay wedding and took it all the way to court. It may sound stupid, but the whole point of the case was to erode anti-discrimination laws in the state of Colorado.

That’s the problem with these dummies. They seem so ridiculous, but their goals are no laughing matter. Pence has done nothing but harm to the LGBTQ community, during his time as governor of Indiana and now as vice president.

What is kind of a laughing matter is that Pence is so uptight about sex, he seems to have no idea when he’s referring to it. The Advocate reports that when ADF members asked him how to get through the backlash against their LGBTQ-bashing, he said this:

“No. 1 is, spend more time on your knees than on the internet.”

Okay. Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

Naturally, everyone jumped on the chance to make BJ jokes, because oral sex is one of the few things that unites the Internet:

Finally, Monica Lewinsky gets the recognition she deserves.

Unless… could it be… he’s finally become sex-positive?

Or maybe it’s an order.

But the most likely explanation is that he doesn’t hear the words coming out of his own mouth:

It’s hard to take advice from someone you have so little respect for, but he makes a good point.