An anonymous woman is being celebrated on Reddit for being both incredibly accurate and hilarious about Facebook groups for moms. Someone posted a screenshot of the woman’s own Facebook post, with her name blocked out, ranting about how done she is with these groups and the ridiculous questions asked by her fellow moms.
“Why OH WHY do I insist on staying in mom groups on Facebook?!” she asks herself. “It’s like a train wreck that you can’t quite look away from.”
The woman gives examples of terrible questions asked by moms, including whether or not one can have sex just three days after pushing out a baby.
“NO, TIFFANI WITH AN ‘I’,” the internet’s new favorite mom writes. “You have a gaping wound in your uterus the size of a ding dang dinner plate and infection is not worth the 13 minutes of disappointment.”
“‘Well, I only waited a week because I stopped spotting.’ CONGRATULATIONS, PUTRISHUH. But I assure you, you’re not some superhuman with wolverine-like healing abilities and you just outed yourself as an actual moron.”
It’s hard to say if there is literally a human being who spells her name as “Putrishuh” or if this is a play on the word “putrid.” We’re praying for the latter.
Meanwhile, anger mom is dealing with women asking if they can “feed my 3 month-old marshmallow fluff” or if a burn from an unsupervised hair straightener on an equally unsupervised child looks infected.
“IT SURE DOES, AUBRYANNA. But hey, let’s wait a week before going to a hospital just in case it turns necrotic… that will be even better in the description for the gofundme I’m gonna see posted in this group for this very scenario.”
The post ends there and looks to only have a single like and one laugh reaction. But on r/insanepeoplefacebook, it has over 41,000 upvotes so far, and the comments are pure gold.
RIP Selena Gomez hair straightener burn kid.