Meeting your significant other’s parents for the first time can be nerve-racking! Maybe you guys will get along great, but maybe everything will be a disaster that leaves you wanting to crawl under the table and cry.
Well, one Redditor who was meeting her son’s new girlfriend for the first time was left telling the girl to get out of her house. The OP’s son’s girlfriend decided that telling a pretty raunchy joke might be a good way to introduce herself, but she did not anticipate that her audience would find the joke in super poor taste. This might be a meet-up that requires a do-over.
“My husband (58 M) and I (56 F) recently met my son’s (24 M) girlfriend for the first time. He’s been crazy about her. Apparently they’ve been dating for a year before he decided to have her meet us officially. What he’s told us about her all seems great: she just got her degree, was enjoying her job, family-oriented, etc., I’m honestly just glad he’s happy with her. My husband and I don’t think he’s ever been this into someone before, so I feel pretty bad about what I did.”
“Last weekend, he brought her over for dinner. By now we’d been anticipating meeting her with how much our son has been gushing about her. How perfect she is, that she’s ‘the one,’ in his words. They ring the doorbell. We open the door. She looks exactly like her pictures, which is a great start. My son is grinning ear to ear – another great start. We invite them in. She accepts my hug and a firm handshake from my husband, and then she opens her mouth: ‘I’m the one your son puts his penis in.'”
“To be frank, I was appalled. I expected my husband to laugh (both he and my son are jokesters, and as annoying as it can be I love it) but THIS was just too much for me. Maybe I’m reserved, but of all things she could have shared about my son she told us THAT. One look at my face and my husband knew how much I disapproved. Maybe I let my expectations get too high, and it’s unfair to have them, but I reiterate: of all things to say to her boyfriend’s parents – whom she’d never met – she chose THAT? My son was amused at first but when he noticed my reaction his face dropped.”
“I felt like he’d sold me the full package, everything he’d always been looking for in a girlfriend. I was too disturbed by the visual it put in my head, and it translated into anger. I told her to get out, and I wanted to say more about how gross it made me feel but I fortunately left it at that. My son didn’t want to go, insisting I give her another chance, but I was too fed up and uncomfortable by this point. Even my husband, who’s enjoyed his fair share of raunchy jokes, wouldn’t let up.”
“They left and I immediately felt guilty. This was something my son had really looked forward to and I feel like I took that away over a dumb joke. I tried calling to apologize but he hasn’t responded. My husband thinks she’s the one who should apologize. I’m considering giving her another chance, but before I do, was I the AH?”
The girlfriend sounds hilarious, honestly.
“NTA. I’m pretty liberal, and open minded, but FFS I’d never lead with that meeting my BF’s parents for the first time. Or say that, EVER. Like, seriously? You opened the door and that’s what flies out of her mouth? Was she nervous? Did she seem embarrassed at all? Did she try to apologize? Is there anything that could explain her inappropriate outburst? You apologized. Wow. Hats off to you. Neither of you can do anything to change what happened, and it’s up to her to accept the apologies or not. Don’t beat yourself up. If she is decent at all, she’ll understand. If she’s not, then maybe good riddance?” —
Mamamamymysherona
“NTA. This just doesn’t sit right. You said your son was all big smiles and amusement when they arrived and up until he son realized you weren’t all that impressed. You also said he jokes around like that with his dad… What are the chances it was your sons idea all along and she just (regretfully) went along with it? Because if that’s the case, you probably can’t get ahold of him because he’s doing damage control with his girlfriend who’s now mortified and angry that his super funny joke gave you the worst impression of her that she could imagine.” —
Munchkins_nDragons
“NTA. I am the biggest jokester around. I love inappropriate jokes. I love making people cringe. But there’s a time and place and reading the room. I would NEVER do that as my first impression with my partner’s parents. If into the evening we’re all getting along, sure maybe we’ll get there and we’ll all have a laugh, but not as the first words out of her mouth. Did you react well? No. Do I blame you? Nope. Did she even try to apologize before leaving? Like read the room, saw and heard you shooing her away, and did she go ‘OMG I totally started this off poorly and that joke was wholly inappropriate. I am SO sorry?'” —
archetyping101
“ESH. The gf made an inappropriate joke. I don’t know why. Possibly her family makes those kind of jokes so she thought it’d be fine. Maybe your son put her up to it. Maybe they both agreed it’d be funny. It crossed a line for you and that’s fine. But kicking her out so quickly was a complete overreaction. Ignoring it and just carrying on like it didn’t happen or even just pointing out the inappropriateness of it would have been fine. But your reaction was too much.” —
GraveDancer40
“Yeah, have to kind of agree with this. It was very inappropriate, but I do wonder if maybe she had anxiety and it just came spewing out. I think of the time I met my husband’s parents for the first time and I knew he was the one, and I wanted them to like me SO badly. So, I of course didn’t hardly talk the whole night because I was so nervous lol And maybe for her it was the opposite and she just said to much. I do understand where she is coming from, but it may have been a bit harsh. However, that is just my opinion.” —
Raynorm241987
“NTA. I think you guys just need a do over. She may have been nervous or thought it would go differently. I can’t say that’s ever a line that should be uttered, but it’s not something to permanently damage your relationship with your son and his partner. She should apologize, but I don’t know if she will. Hopefully, years from now, you guys will all laugh about how awkward the start of your relationship was.” —
Slight_Necessary8246
