Perhaps one of the most unintentionally self-humiliating Reddit posts is now spreading across the internet as people laugh at a man who may have ruined his own marriage and revealed that he’s not any good in bed to the world at the same time. The original, posted in the “Relationship Advice” forum on Reddit, has been deleted — likely due to an overload of public humiliation — but lives on in screenshots elsewhere.
What happened is that a 32-year-old man felt that his wife wasn’t doing enough sex for him and so convinced her to have an open marriage. However, it appears that he did not understand what “bisexual” means and is now stuck in a situation where his wife is having sex with other men and he doesn’t like the open marriage idea anymore.
“After 5 years of marriage I felt like she had given me all she had to offer,” the OP wrote. “Now, please don’t judge me for saying that.”
We’re going to pause here to say that we are absolutely judging him for saying that, or at least for putting it in the way he did. Is sex all she had to offer you? Maybe what you wanted was a RealDoll.
“She just had a very low sex drive and I have a higher one,” he continued. “I figured opening the relationship would help out marriage and help me get my needs met. She originally said no, but after I explained to her the benefits she said yes after a few days of asking. We seemed both excited at the possibility of a threesome.”
This Reddit user may have imagined his wife’s excitement over the threesome idea, however, and it seems that the scenario he imagined arising from this arrangement isn’t going to materialize. It turns out that the ridiculous stereotypes about bisexual people are actually wrong, and his weird, twisted biphobia got him into a situation he’s not enjoying.
“Now where the problem lies is that my wife is bisexual, and yet the only people she’s been sleeping have been men. When asked about this, she said she only sleeps with people she clicks with, and they just happen to be men. When I told her my feelings about this she said it’s only fair because I’m sleeping with other women. While true, it makes me wonder if she’s truly bisexual.”
Doubting whether someone is “truly bisexual” because they have only slept with people of a specific gender for any period of time is a classic form of biphobia. The much more likely explanation is that there are simply a lot more straight men to be found in the world than women who are attracted to other women.
But what is perhaps worse, at least for the OP, is that in spite of marrying her and having sex with her, he seemed to somehow think that “bisexual” meant that in an open marriage, she would only sleep with other ladies, with him being the one exception. Now he’s jealous because she’s having sex with men, and possibly enjoying it a lot more with them.
Also, she’s happy with the way things are now, and it turns out that he played himself.
“When I asked for her to also sleep with women or I’d want to close the marriage again she rolled her eyes and said no. One of the guys I fear is trying to seriously date her. He brings her flowers and food, pays for her nails and never even acknowledges me when he’s over. I feel like she’s dismissing my feelings and I’m getting frustrated. I want to close our marriage again.”
This guy is about to find himself divorced, and everyone thinks it’s funny.