Orthodox Priest Roasted For Claiming, Uh, ‘Unorthodox’ Sex Leads To Gay Sons And Daughters

It’s been a while since I’ve been to church, but is it normal for a priest to spend a lot of time talking about anal? Aren’t they supposed to talk about God’s love, or something? For some people, those two things are one and the same, but for Greek Orthodox Bishop Neophytos Masouras from the Church of Cyprus, anal is causing all sorts of problems.

You don’t have to hear much more to know the Bishop is a few crackers short of a communion. Just to be clear, though, Masouras isn’t just inappropriate in the pulpit, he’s also wildly homophobic.

The Friendly Atheist reports that Masouras was recorded preaching against anal because…it creates gay children. He believes that when a pregnant woman has anal “a desire is created, which is then transmitted to the unborn child.”

The man is not a scientist.

There probably are women out there having anal sex while pregnant, but I don’t think it can be verified that this the case for every gay child born in the world. It is fun to imagine what sex acts caused your sexual identity—until you remember that’s your mom you’re talking about. I hope she had fun, but I don’t really want to know the particulars.

Masouras is almost too ridiculous to mock, but people did anyway:

The Bishop definitely considers anal and homosexuality bad things, he is not offering an instruction manual on how to have a fabulous child.

“It is a problem, which is usually transmitted by parents to the child,” the bishop said. Dude, I don’t even want to know what your parents did to make you. It would make satan blush.