Marriage proposals can be stressful, especially when you’re sure of the answer and get a different response than you were expecting. Redditor u/exiledbyfamily’s girlfriend turned down his proposal (twice!) and he turned to Reddit to ask if he was TA for breaking up with her.
“Sierra and I have been dating for 4 years. I absolutely love her and felt like she was my soulmate. I knew I wanted to propose 2 years into dating, but decided to wait one more year so that I could get in a better situation financially.”
He continued, “Last year, I proposed. It was a private proposal on the beach where we went on our first date. She looked at me and said, I want to marry you, but not right now. She said she wasn’t in the right space personally to get engaged and to give her some time. That stung, but I was ok with it. After all, I put off proposing so I can be in a good position, it’s only fair I give her the chance.”
“It’s been a year since then and I decided to propose again. This time I asked our friends to help me set it up because I wanted to do something nicer. We orchestrated a nice dinner and a proposal in front of a nice fountain in the city’s botanical garden.”
“Everything was ready, dinner went great, and we went to the fountain. She saw the roses and everything and then I got down on one knee and asked her to marry me,” he said. “She teared up and told me ‘not just yet.’ This stung really bad. I knew I wanted her in my life forever, but this is the second time she turned me down. I asked her why, and she told me the same thing as last year. I asked her if someone was holding her back, maybe family or friend, and she just said ‘I just want to make sure that this will work.’”
“This hurt me more than the 2 rejections. I told her if after 4 years she isn’t sure, then what the hell will make her sure. She asked me to give her time and I told her no. I told her that I’m not gonna keep wasting my time and love if she’s gonna keep saying no. I told her that I can’t do this anymore. She began begging me not to leave and said ‘fine, I’ll marry you, just please don’t go.’ That made me mad, but i didn’t say anything. I left.”
Friends and family blew up his phone telling him he was TA and he started to question if he overreacted, even though they had discussed marriage before he even proposed the first time and “she seemed eager about the idea of marriage.”
Redditors told u/exiledbyfamily he was right to be upset but also that maybe they didn’t communicate enough to get to the real reason why Sierra was saying no.