A popular Christian Twitter user named “Kristin” (@livingforjc) thought it was a good idea to hop on her account Friday and tweet out a declaration that sex is for married couples only, not for people who are merely dating. Did she think that would go over well? Is she a glutton for punishment? Gluttony is a sin, don’t you know?
Sex was created by God, for marriage, between a husband and wife. Not for a boyfriend and girlfriend that are dating.— Kristin (@livingforjc) July 20, 2019
The idea that sex before marriage is wrong is an old one in the Christian religion. It’s also one that comes up fairly often, likely because it’s such a difficult moral to stick to, especially in an age where people are getting married later and later in their lives.
If you actually look at the Bible, there are a few lines that deal with the idea of sex and marriage. However, most of the ones Christians like to trot out are on vague ideas about sexual sin or immorality without these terms being defined or anything explicit about having sex before marriage.
But aside from all that, it’s just an unrealistic ideal for most and one that probably should not be pushed on others, especially not on a public forum like Twitter where you are going to get dragged to hell for doing so. Especially not worded in a way that sets you up for a thousand jokes about who really created sex and when.
Here’s a list of some of the best responses to Kristin’s ill-advised tweet:
Wrong. Sex was created by The Coca-Cola Company in 1992 as a response to Crystal Pepsi. https://t.co/kFbUiycZzS— Zach Heltzel (@zachheltzel) July 21, 2019
I've just spent twenty minutes reading the Terms & Conditions for Sex and nowhere is that limitation made clear. Though I have discovered that God owns the copyright on all orgasms and may share them with data partners in order to more efficiently bombard you with guilt. https://t.co/BWM169Xexm— Michael Marshall Smith (@ememess) July 21, 2019
sex was invented by lana del rey in 2012 when she wrote down the words 'my pussy tastes like pepsi cola' https://t.co/SIkWQ5AgKj— indie (@INDIEWASHERE) July 21, 2019
Sex was created by Aleister Crowley in like 1936 https://t.co/qrHt8bJzNh— ryan (@Animal_Mothah) July 21, 2019
I mean, I’ll agree that having sex between a couple can be very fun, especially for the person in the middle, but the marital status doesn’t change that much... https://t.co/Dwjma8dUge— Amanda Deibert ????️???? (@amandadeibert) July 22, 2019
Sex was created by Eileen Myles, for queers only. https://t.co/17nomIsQKm— Alice Anderson (@AlicePoet) July 21, 2019
Sex was created in 1984 by Prince when he released Purple Rain https://t.co/WJ9AwySXo8— caitlin goldblatt (@trustpunch) July 22, 2019
Pretty sure God wasn’t married to Mary when he got her pregnant without her consent. https://t.co/QQgHZEcxZi— Ralf Little (@RalfLittle) July 21, 2019
some of us are horny kristin https://t.co/zMpnDWp0Ls— savannah (@savtwopointoh) July 21, 2019
how dare you disrespect the 1975 like this https://t.co/8AjdgQKIDd— rip zeph (@zephanijong) July 21, 2019
Well, who is going to tell all the mammals, fish, insects and crustaceans? https://t.co/AFmUIqZBPv— Mike Galsworthy (@mikegalsworthy) July 21, 2019
Sex was created by God, for marriage, between a wife and her boyfriend. Not for the husband who gets a Nintendo Switch https://t.co/TSXAy6sCyb— society understander (@mywifecameback) July 22, 2019
i can’t believe god created sex what a fucking pervert https://t.co/6VH1gutm9g— kombucha queen (@rosesbythstairs) July 22, 2019
A god maybe. Sex was invented by Zeus when he transformed himself into the world's hottest swan. https://t.co/tOm24HGtXj— Ms. Mistoffelees (@ImpPoster) July 21, 2019
Sex was created by God, for an awkward interaction between me and a boy I talked to on tinder for 3 days. Not for a married man and woman that are trapped in a loveless marriage. https://t.co/oSEChfpKDJ— 1984’s George Whorewell (@EwdatsGROSS) July 21, 2019
Actually sex was created by Hallmark just to sell sex cards https://t.co/emZZpZKlZC— Sad Liam Hemsworth (@BennyWillard) July 21, 2019
poo poo was created by pee pee for fart butt https://t.co/zeawEW1wLZ— jarod (@jarodzsz) July 21, 2019
what if we’re not dating and I just met the dude behind an arby’s https://t.co/Oefa2OgVPw— Sarah Beattie (@nachosarah) July 21, 2019
Then He should’ve made my vagina only appear after I get married ???? https://t.co/NRjBYNx0l0— Dwight’s whore ♥️ (@phumelelaq) July 21, 2019
Sex was created by God for orgasms between two or more willing partners in the alley behind an Arby's. https://t.co/NOdflkVo3w— Doug Hageman (@DougHageman) July 21, 2019
No one:— Justin Randall (@imjustinrandall) July 21, 2019
13 year old me to my “girlfriend”: https://t.co/Yd4ETWs2yA
Show me Adam and Eve marriage certificate ???? https://t.co/08jgXFGLlk— Minister of Foolishness ???????? (@foolishminister) July 21, 2019
Why is it always Arby’s?