Naming your child after a family member can be a wonderful name to honor them. But what if that family member isn’t really into that?
One Redditor has a sister who is pregnant — and when the sister told the OP that she is planning on giving her baby a name that is very, very similar to her name (and is perhaps not even aware that there’s a problem with that), the OP was not thrilled. However, she’s nervous about talking to her sister about the problem she has with the name because they aren’t super close. Does the OP get any say in this matter?
My (20F) sister (23F) is 3 months pregnant and I am super happy for her. She always dreamed of being a mom and I couldn’t be more excited for her to finally be able to live that dream of having her own baby. The only thing is the name she has picked out. It’s literally my name except for ONE letter. It sounds the exact same and everything.”
“When she first found out she was pregnant, she had a big list of names that we all helped her narrow down to her favorites and this name was not on that list. I love my sister very much, she has always been supportive of me and everything I’ve wanted to do which is why I’m unsure how to bring this up to her or if I even should. My mom and grandma say I should feel honored but it doesn’t feel like she’s doing it to ‘honor me’ it just feels like she literally didn’t even think about the fact that it’s my name.”
“I know most people are probably thinking ‘Just talk to her about it, it’s not that big of a deal.’ But despite us loving and supporting each other no matter what, we aren’t super close and have never had any heart-to-heart conversations and ever since she moved in with her fiancé (28M), we have always walked on eggshells around each other to avoid any type of conflict or disagreement which is why I’m nervous about bringing this up to her. So, WIBTA if I asked her to pick a different name?”
I don’t think it hurts to ask! What do Redditors advise?
“NTA for feeling the way you feel. But if this were me, I would start telling people I was proud that my sister was naming her child after me. How I can’t wait to have a name buddy…and how I have already ordered custom monogrammed baby clothes etc etc and can’t wait to have a mini me. My guess is that your sister will magically rethink the name rather than share her kid with you.” —The__Riker__Maneuver
“NAH. You can ask, but ultimately it is her decision. You don’t ‘own’ the name.” —subsailor1968
“NAH. Just tell her that you’re honored she’s planning to name the baby after you and how everyone will know that she thinks incredibly highly of you and that you and your niece will have such a special bond, etc. Then just be ready to be unoffended when she changes it.” —RealTalkFastWalk
“But she never once asked if op wanted the baby named after there. It’s not honorable unless that person ACTUALLY WANTS IT. Also it can cause confusion with who’s who unless they always call the baby a nickname for the rest of it’s life and at that point why not just name it something different??? NTA.” —Smores_Graham
NTA. You aren’t going to be able to talk her out of it. Especially if the family matriarchs are in favor. Do remind her though that as close as it is to your name her daughter might not be happy about being named after someone and not having her own unique name.” —becoming_maxine