When you’re planning your wedding, sometimes your partner’s worst self will manifest. You hope it’s honestly just some basic bridezilla (or groomzilla) stuff, but every so often a person will be so shocked they will call off the wedding.
On Reddit, a groom-to-be is being put through it by his fiancée, and Redditors are telling him to call off the wedding for a very good reason: the fiancé doesn’t think of the OP’s son as part of their family; she only thinks of him as a reminder of the OP’s old family. And she doesn’t want him at the “childfree wedding.” This is obviously pretty awful, as it seems like the fiancé is ready to completely cut this child out of their lives instead of making space for him. And that should be a dealbreaker.
“So I recently proposed to my long-term girlfriend, and we are planning for a wedding in summer next year, everything is still very early stages. My fiance has expressed that she wants a child-free wedding, which I am all down for but I want to make one expectation, my son (15M), I had him from a previous relationship and we have evenly split custody of him. Until now my fiance has gotten along great with him, we’ve had days out as a family, she’s gone to see his games (he plays ice hockey) and she’s even taken him out on fun days just the two of them.”
“I brought up that I wanted to make an exception to the no kids rule for my son, she shot the idea down straight away and said that she didn’t want anyone under 16 there as she doesn’t want to feel like she or anyone else has to babysit on her special day. I told her that no one would have to babysit him, he’s 15 and she knows he’s well-behaved and a generally quiet kid. She then changed her reasoning and asked why I wanted my old family and life on the day I was supposed to making a commitment to her and our new family, I told her while I will be making a commitment to her, my son will still very much be my son and my family.”
“She then equated it to wanting my ex at our wedding, which I do not and never asked. I told her that i don’t care about the aesthetics of the wedding, and that she can pick everything else, the food, the aesthetic, the music, the dress, but all I want is my family at the wedding (my parents, my sisters and my son), that is my only ultimatum when it comes to our wedding.”
“She started calling me controlling by giving me an ultimatum and said I had initially agreed to a child-free wedding and now im ‘gaslighting’ her. I said we can have a mainly child-free wedding, but with this one exception, an expectation that guests can’t even complain about being unfair since the only child is the son of the groom. She called me a dick and is now not talking to me, I really think this is a reasonable want, but maybe im not seeing something, so AITA?”
Imagine being told you can’t have your child at your wedding!