stephen moore spacesuit

Trump Advisor Suggests Everyone Wear Space Suits So We Can Reopen The Economy

Throughout the uncertainty of the coronavirus outbreak, the one thing the world has been able to count on is the knowledge that we can always look to the Trump administration for truth, resources, and helpful ideas as to how we all move forward in these trying times.

Oh, wouldn’t it be nice if that were true?

Obviously, instead we’ve wound up with absolutely garbage takes from President Trump himself, including hits like “Maskless anti-quarantine protestors seem like very responsible people!” and “Why don’t we just try drinking bleach?” and “Let’s use this time to disregard international relations and mine the moon!”

And the people he surrounds himself with aren’t much better. 

Most recently, a member of his economic task force suggested the best way to get the economy back up and running again is to put everyone in space suits.

“We can use really good public safety measures, social distancing the workforce, disinfectants everywhere, masks,” Stephen Moore told The New York Times, off to a decent start before wildly pivoting to the left.

“I was thinking this morning, and this is just kind of a thought experiment because I was thinking about this — why don’t we just put everybody in a space outfit or something like that? No. Seriously.”

Let’s just break that down for full comprehension before we move on: a member of the president’s economic task force, when asked for a solution to get the economy rolling again, suggested space suits.

Space. Suits.

So, who would pay for the entire population of the United States to wear space suits every day?

This suggestion would already be nuts on a normal non-pandemic day, but considering how poorly the federal government has handled providing masks and ventilators for healthcare workers and people who are already very sick from COVID-19, it seems unlikely they could get the entire population…spacesuits.

“I know we don’t have space outfits,” Moore continued. “You have to make 200 million of these, but it wouldn’t have cost $3 trillion to do that. And you can have for months people just walking around in these kind of — I mean, I was looking online, and there are all these kinds of suits that they’re building now that you’re not exposed and you’re breath — kind of ventilator.”

It’s incredible. Not only did this dude have the audacity to suggest space suits as a solution to the coronavirus outbreak in the United States, but he revealed that he actually researched this idea.

One: Good luck getting everyone to agree to wear freaking space suits in their day-to-day lives, I’m sure that’s not at all cumbersome or virtually impossible in the labor-intensive jobs you don’t even consider up there in your towers of gold.

Two: Even if it doesn’t cost $3 trillion (but lol, it would cost way more), why would the government cover it? You know what else wouldn’t cost $3 trillion? More stimulus money, which would also help the economy recover, rather than throwing money at sketchy airlines and the stock market, but we sure aren’t getting any of that, now are we, Stephen?!?

The suggestion was obviously met with incredulity by the same people Moore would have squeezed into spacesuits.

Can we get new people on the economic task force yet? Maybe a whole new government? At least a brand new president? Literally anyone competent in charge of anything, anything at all?