Welp. President Trump has sh-tcanned yet another member of his administration and no one is shedding any tears since the person in question is warmongering national security advisor and walrus impersonator John Bolton.
The spectacle of Trump – who has proclaimed he only hires the best people – summarily changing his mind and firing those best people whenever he feels like it has become commonplace but the ensuing chaos never ceases to amaze.
Naturally, being a byproduct of Trump World the firing could not proceed without a certain amount of circus-like fallout. There was immediate controversy surrounding the question of who broke up with whom with Trump proclaiming that he had asked for Bolton’s resignation and Bolton claiming that he had in fact offered it.
I informed John Bolton last night that his services are no longer needed at the White House. I disagreed strongly with many of his suggestions, as did others in the Administration, and therefore....— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) September 10, 2019
....I asked John for his resignation, which was given to me this morning. I thank John very much for his service. I will be naming a new National Security Advisor next week.— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) September 10, 2019
I offered to resign last night and President Trump said, "Let's talk about it tomorrow."— John Bolton (@AmbJohnBolton) September 10, 2019
In other words the president and his former national security advisor are squabbling like two middle schoolers who dated for a week.
For the watchful and sarcastic citizens of Twitter Nation, it was almost too easy and the roasts and reactions rolled in like bad poll numbers.
Once again, Bolton loses the Battle of the Bastards— Orli Matlow (@HireMeImFunny) September 10, 2019
Donald Trump and John Bolton are now both publicly calling the other a liar.— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) September 10, 2019
Hate to see a breakup when both parties are perfect for each other. https://t.co/yhJ1WjPkvf
Trump tricking Bolton into not resigning so he could fire him reaffirms that these bloodthirsty war hawks talking about "strategy" are just Charlie-Brown-kicking-a-football level doofuses.— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) September 10, 2019
In the wake of the quit/fired controversy, I await the John Bolton-themed remake of this song. pic.twitter.com/HrL4YBzUxj— Ben Greenman (@bengreenman) September 10, 2019
Only 146 more days for Trump to fire members of his administration before the Iowa caucus.— Adam Sacks (@AdamSacks) September 10, 2019
♫ Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road ♫ https://t.co/NYBFYdEU0G— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) September 10, 2019
The Patriots have signed John Bolton to a 1-year, $4 million deal— Michael Batnick (@michaelbatnick) September 10, 2019
I'm just happy John Bolton will finally have time to get back to doing what he loves, getting redder.— Nick Ross (@NickBossRoss) September 10, 2019
John Bolton will be taking a step back to focus on sending troops to invade his family— Erin filthy mouthed wife 2020 Ryan (@morninggloria) September 10, 2019
Tfw the big man asks you for your resignation pic.twitter.com/5v7ACidQvb— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) September 10, 2019
Others didn’t see the funny side.
very strange to see people giving trump credit for firing john bolton, as if he didn't hire him in the first place— b-boy bouiebaisse (@jbouie) September 10, 2019
like, it's not like he inherited bolton from some previous occupant, like a large house plant— b-boy bouiebaisse (@jbouie) September 10, 2019
From the beginning, I felt John Bolton lacked the judgment and temperament to be National Security Advisor.— Adam Schiff (@RepAdamSchiff) September 10, 2019
Nothing he did in the job persuaded me otherwise.
The only question about his replacement is the same after all Trump resignations:
Will we go from bad to worse?
A few conservative politicians like Mitt Romney and Ted Cruz rushed to Bolton’s defense for some reason.
Mitt Romney outspoken on Bolton’s firing: “I’m very, very unhappy to hear that he is leaving. It’s a huge loss for the andministration and for the nation.”— Nicholas Fandos (@npfandos) September 10, 2019
Asked about a possible replacement, Romney suggests “John Bolton”
Mitt Romney has really been holding his fire against Trump but the's finally found a cause to take a stand on .... Trump firing the frothing war-monger John Bolton! https://t.co/Hdv4jd2rLp— Jeet Heer (@HeerJeet) September 10, 2019
Trump has also mistakenly called John Bolton “Mike Bolton” before so people had some fun with that.
Trump calls John Bolton "Michael Bolton" repeatedly.— Holly Figueroa O'Reilly (@AynRandPaulRyan) September 10, 2019
You know, like a stable genius might do.pic.twitter.com/QlY37jtX3h
Trump often called National Security Advisor Bolton “Mike”— George Takei (@GeorgeTakei) September 10, 2019
Trump: You’re fired.
Bolton: “How Am I Supposed To Live Without You?”
Trump: You’ll manage.
Bolton: “When I’m Back On My Feet Again”?
Trump: You never really respected me.
Bolton: “I Said I Loved You But I Lied.”
Basically there was Schadenfreude but also mixed emotions all around. As the old saying goes: “The enemy of your enemy is…your president?”
Best of luck to John Bolton as he returns to his former career as a Red Dead Redemption NPC.— Molly Hodgdon (@Manglewood) September 10, 2019