Donald Trump went on another Twitter tirade against China this morning, this time taking another step down the rabbit hole by seemingly attempting to issue official orders to U.S. companies via tweet. And we don’t mean he was trying to order a new wife off of Amazon or something like that. He literally said that companies are “hereby ordered” to stop doing business with China.
....better off without them. The vast amounts of money made and stolen by China from the United States, year after year, for decades, will and must STOP. Our great American companies are hereby ordered to immediately start looking for an alternative to China, including bringing..— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 23, 2019
....all deliveries of Fentanyl from China (or anywhere else!). Fentanyl kills 100,000 Americans a year. President Xi said this would stop - it didn’t. Our Economy, because of our gains in the last 2 1/2 years, is MUCH larger than that of China. We will keep it that way!— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 23, 2019
He also ordered shipping companies to “SEARCH FOR & REFUSE” packages of the opioid medication fentanyl from China “(or anywhere else!)” as though they aren’t already required to do that by law. However, fentanyl does not kill 100,000 Americans per year (fentanyl was involved in about 28,000 deaths in 2017), and legal fentanyl is an important drug for managing severe pain and ensuring patients stay asleep and pain-free during surgery.
Also, you can’t actually just issue orders on Twitter and have it magically be law, because you’re not some kind of horrifying modern monarch, Trump, as much as you might act like one.
Wild inaccuracies aside, Twitter is now mocking Trump with hashtags like #iherebyorder, issuing their own very official orders to whomever they feel like.
I hereby order that we all time travel back to November 2016, knowing what we know.#Iherebyorder— Terry Dresbach (@draiochta14) August 23, 2019
I hereby order my Great American Cat not to wake me up at 6am— Tom Nichols (@RadioFreeTom) August 23, 2019
I hereby order my Great American Daughter to be nice to her dad even when she feels like a moody teenager
I hereby order our Great American postal service not to deliver flyers from stores I don't like#IHerebyOrder
I hearby order Keanu Reeves to fall madly in love with me, marry me, and feed me bon-bons #Iherebyorder— Diane Theodore (@d_m_t1023) August 23, 2019
#iherebyorder that presidents be required to pass 6th grade Social Studies before assuming power.— The Impeachment PAC (@powertoimpeach) August 23, 2019
#Iherebyorder Nordstrom to reduce the price of that Ted Baker dress I've been eyeing by 90%.— Red™️ (@Redpainter1) August 23, 2019
Even the animals are getting involved.
“#Iherebyorder the first meeting of the Chonky Cat Lovers Society to commence!” Our adoptable big boy Mr. B. wants to see all your jumbo kitties. Show him photos of your large lads and gargantuan girls. Let’s see some the chonky #adorables! https://t.co/4qznMwTgrX pic.twitter.com/fZLcbsLnzm— Morris Animal Refuge (@MorrisAnimal) August 23, 2019
Can Mr. B be our president instead? All hail The Chonkiest Boi.