General statements can be helpful at times, for sure. We’re all human and we have some basic things in common. But sometimes people think they’re making a universal statement about life, but they’re actually only exposing their own psyche to the world. This is what happened to a man named Hunter Drew, who identifies himself as a “patriarch writing on masculinity, marriage, and fatherhood.”
These are topics a lot of people are interested in, though I am personally skeptical that Drew is doling out healthy advice. His perspective on family seems a bit skewed. In a tweet that has people raising their eyebrows, Drew shared his thoughts on a different subject: motherhood. Drew has some very specific ideas about what makes a good mother. Some of them are simply sexist. Others make me think Drew doesn’t know the standard of basic human behavior in most homes.
How to be a better mother:— Hunter Drew (@HunterDrewTFA) July 28, 2019
- Be feminine
- Wear dresses
- Don’t hit your kids
- Enforce boundaries
- Be physically active
- Don’t tease your kids
- Cook your family’s meals
- Don’t call your children names
- Do not get drunk in front of them
- Show up to their games *& cheer*
How to be a better mother: – Be feminine – Wear dresses – Don’t hit your kids – Enforce boundaries – Be physically active – Don’t tease your kids – Cook your family’s meals – Don’t call your children names – Do not get drunk in front of them – Show up to their games *& cheer*
Wearing a dress and being feminine doesn’t really have anything to do with being a good mother, clearly. A kid doesn’t care if their mom doesn’t do full face make up before breakfast, they just want their toast edges cut off. As retrograde as these ideas are, it’s the other stuff that worries me.
Don’t hit your kids? Don’t call them names or get drunk in front of them? Yes, some moms do that, but I doubt anyone would say they just need to do “better.” They need serious intervention. That’s not normal! And it paints a grim picture of Drew’s past, as many people pointed out:
Damn your childhood must have been one hell of a shitty ride.— Tony Posnanski (@tonyposnanski) July 31, 2019
That Kid Cuisine actually looks pretty good. On a diet. Can you tell?— Astrid Kaysen (@astrid_kaysen) July 31, 2019
I hope you're in your mandated dress, sister.— KGVAlum (@Staceyryn) July 31, 2019
Most people are focused on the dress advice, side-stepping the weird abuse insinuations. As someone who barely ever wears a dress, I kind of get it. Not everyone feels comfortable in a dress, not everyone has time or money to maintain a more expensive wardrobe, and no mother needs to be told how she should look when she’s chasing a toddler around.
I’m interested in the connection between wearing dresses and being a better mother. I’m very intrigued indeed.— Dani Arias-Rotondo (@fromBAtoMI) July 31, 2019
I wear a dress when it’s hot so I can waft a breeze up my fanny with the skirt. Im fucking alpha feminine.— soggysausages (@Catheri69509357) July 31, 2019
You kind of answered your question by saying you wear one now and then.— Hunter Drew (@HunterDrewTFA) July 28, 2019
Why do you wear one every now and then?
Likely because you want to, it looks good on you, and the occasion calls for it.
A lot of women wear man clothes 24/7, doesn’t set the right example for the kids.
“Man clothes,” as Drew calls them, are also a ridiculous delineation. I look better in tight jeans than any man I’ve ever met! But Drew is sticking to his ideas on this. He also seems to be missing the fact that no one is disagreeing about the name-calling and drunken physical abuse:
I stand by my points.— Hunter Drew (@HunterDrewTFA) August 1, 2019
Mothers should not hit their kids or call them names.
They should dress with intention & not lose themselves to leggings & T shirts 24/7
They should never be drunk in front of their kids
They should enforce boundaries
They should cheer their children on. https://t.co/xliKO0J2Hb
Maybe if he were wearing a tuxedo he would get it?